Preacher Doubts & Reaching Out

I wanted to get back to answering some of the questions the good people of Church of the Way and the Blogosphere asked during our "Preacher, I've Got a Question" series.  Here's a couple:

A couple of questions were similar:

• Does a preacher ever feel stronger in their faith some days and not so much other days?
• Preacher, do you ever struggle with doubt?

The answer to those questions is, "Of course."  Contrary to rumors, preachers are human.  Almost every preacher I know is human :)  There are times I wonder if God is going to come through, if I've got what it takes to lead Christ's Church.  There are times I wonder if I'm smart enough to do this and times I worry if my mistakes or shortcomings will through the ministry.  There are days I feel like I'm not cut out for this and moments when I wonder if I should be doing something else.  There are quiet moments when I think maybe someone else could do this better.  There are times I rely on my own strength instead of resting on God's.  There are times when I'm disobedient.  There are times when I wonder where God's Spirit is.  There are days when I feel broken.  I can tell you that I never doubt that God loves me.  I've seen too much evidence to the contrary.  I feel richly blessed by God with all that he's given me, especially family, friends and a church that love and support me.  And I've always believed that the best is yet to come.  I believe God is always moving and working, shaping and molding.  Sometimes I struggle with HOW God is doing it.  I don't always agree with His tactics or time-table, but I know He's up to something good in my life because I believe good is in His nature.  Everybody struggles and doubts from time to time.

• What’s the best way to reach out to someone who doesn’t know about Jesus without preaching to that person?

Love them.  If they won't read the Bible, be the Bible.  If they won't enter into a conversation about Jesus, be Jesus to and with them.  People need to see faith in action.  No one really wants to be preached to.  People need to see integrity and holiness lived out.  Make sure your actions back up your words and your lifestyle matches your message.  Be honest.  Admit what you don't know.  Serve them.  Invite them to church.  Ask questions.  Listen to their story.  Stay in relationship.  Making disciples happens in relationship. When people begin to trust Christians and see authentic Christians involved in their lives, I believe they'll start asking questions about what makes Followers of Jesus so different.  As St. Francis of Assisi said, "Share the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words."  If we do it right, we'll rarely need words.  

Fatherhood

Yesterday was Father's Day.  It was my ninth year as a father.  I get to practice at it a lot.  I have four boys, so fatherhood is very important to me.  It's my job to pass on to my sons what it means to be a man.  Here's some things I've learned about fatherhood in the midst of trying raise four wild boys:

• You never really feel like you're good at it.  Every parent feels inadequate at times.
• You have to be a kid with them sometimes.  Some of my best memories are the times when I acted a fool with them.
• You have to be the adult most of the time.  Most of my worst moments as a parent are when I didn't act like the adult.  They'll have lots of buddies and friends.  They get one dad.  
• Sometimes I like to say, "I'm a dad, I'm not allowed to have feelings."  Really, get over feelings.  I want my sons to respect me when they're 25.
• They forgive and forget your mistakes way quicker than I do.  They're over it, and we need to learn to get over it when we screw up.
• They're listening...to every word.
• If Walker (my five year-old) says his arm really hurts...it's broken.  Best to not wait a week before going to the doctor.
• Pulling loose teeth should be an Olympic sport.  I think I could compete.  (Twist and pull is the secret).
• Toddlers pooping in the potty is cause for household celebration.
• It'll grow back, eventually. The grass, the skin, the hair, even the Sheetrock.  
• I am going to live the next 15 years in a locker room.  When my youngest graduates and leaves for college, my house will smell nice again.  God bless my sweet wife.
• Good thing peanut butter counts as protein.
• Good thing cheese counts as protein.
• Good thing you don't have to have protein to constitute a meal.
• It may be a while before they're bigger than me, but pretty soon they're going to be able to gang up on me.
• With four boys, pretty soon I'm going to cut my last blade of grass around here for a long, long time.
• Unfortunately, I'm going to need to take out a loan to go to the grocery store pretty soon.  And on that note, I never realized how much money my parents spent on me.
• It sure is nice when the house is quiet at night.  Those moments are rare in these parts.
• Being a father is humbling.  I have to do it every day, and I never do it perfectly.
• Whenever my boys ask me to go throw the football in the backyard, I try to always say, "Yes!"
• Fatherhood has some of the most richest rewards and has taught me so much about how God views us.  
• As good as the early days in marriage were before kids and as sweet as the empty-nest days will be, I know I'm living in some of the best times right now.
• I love being a father, but thank God I don't have to be a mom.  Those women are heroes.

Sticks & Stones

"No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it give grace to those who hear."  Ephesians 4:29

Today I read a phenomenal quote about how we speak about others:  "Protecting the reputation of those who aren't present gains the trust of those who are."  I have a quick tongue.  One of the profound challenges I've faced in my own life has been guarding my words.  Not necessarily foul language.  I've never felt the need to curse.  However, it's so easy to say a word that does not lift others up or rushes to a quick judgment.  It's so easy to speak negatively about those that aren't present before we have all the facts.  This is a growing edge for me, but it is so important.  Christians, for as long as I've been around, are notorious about gossiping.  We even gossip in group prayer settings.  Often, we don't mean to.  We say something negative about someone or make a snap judgment before we know what's really going on in someone's life.  Those words can never be taken back, and they're not helpful. Not only that, but people start to think, "I wonder what they say when I'm not around?"  It breeds mistrust.  

Words are so important.  How we speak and the tones we use reveal something deep within us.  I so want people to experience grace, as the passage says, when they are in conversation with me, even if it's a difficult conversation.  And, when we do mess up and speak a word that is wrong, let us be quick to take ownership and apologize.  So, think about how you're speaking today.  Think about how you speak about those that aren't present.  Let us allow the Holy Spirit to offer grace to others through our words.  I truly believe God wants this for us because life is better that way.

The Truth About Interracial Couples

Apparently there has been some uproar over this new Cheerios commercial:

Isn't she precious?  In response to those stirring up the controversy and upset over the commercial, part of me feels compelled to say, "What planet do you live on?"  Seriously, I don't get it.  I grew up and have lived my whole life in the Deep South, where racial tensions have often been high.  In college, I worked with an SEC football team and came to understand race in a new way.  Simply, I was ignorant.  Not in a bad way.  I had just never been exposed to African-American people on a large scale.  I had acquaintances, but not friends.  I became friends with people who I found to be a lot like me but just had a different color skin.

However, I still wasn't sure about interracial couples.  Mostly, that was because I didn't really know my Bible.  I became friends with an engaged couple in Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  She was a basketball player on the women's team, and he was a team manager.  She was African-American.  He was white.  And they were the most Godly couple I had ever known.  I began to search my Bible.  I found out Moses' wife was from Ethiopia.  How many white folks do you know from Ethiopia?  I read about Solomon's wife with dark skin in Song of Solomon.  Why hadn't I been taught this in Sunday School?

Then, I started dating a girl from Russia.  She was white.  But I began to realize that I had more in common and probably more ancestral commonality with African-Americans in the Deep South than her.  I realized that skin color is so subjective.  

But, the most important thing is what God said in the beginning:  that we are made in God's image.  All of us. Every skin tone represents who God is.  God doesn't see colors.  God sees himself.  I am ashamed and appalled that this would still be a topic of discussion in 2013.  I am blessed to live in a community with rich diversity and blessed to serve a church in which many nations and skin tones are represented.  We are united under the cross of Christ.  We have always sought to make our church a place where all are welcomed.  Any other teaching is not of God, and the Church must continue to stand up to teach truth in the face of ugliness.  We must also be willing to enter into discussions with people, like me as an 18 year-old, who simply don't know any better and need someone to guide them to discipleship.

Sadly, I know that interracial couples are not welcomed in all churches across America.  That's why we've made it a point to make sure Church of the Way is a place where people of all colors, and families of all races and mixes can find a home.  I will always believe that the hatred and vitriol will continue to die as we pass the torch to another generation.  This will be of little issue to my children.  They simply don't see color because we haven't taught it.  Our prayer for them and teaching to them is that the most important  characteristic in their future mate is a deep devotion to Jesus.  THAT is what it means to be equally yoked.  Oh, and they can't marry a Phillies or Mets fan.