Preacher, I've got a question kickoff

Biblical marriage.  I’ve heard that a lot lately, and its an issue that raises a lot of questions. This Sunday, I’m starting a series called “Preacher, I’ve got a question” at Church of the Way.  People have submitted REALLY TOUGH questions over the last month, and I’ll be using the most asked questions as the groundwork for a 3-week series on Sundays. I hope you’ll come check it out April 7-21 at Archer High School at 10 a.m. & 6 p.m. However, I’m using my blog to answer every question that was submitted, and I might even do a couple a day. However, I want to start off by being a bit selfish and answering the question I’ve been asking myself the last few weeks: “What do you think about this whole gay marriage deal?” So, to kick off a month’s worth of blogs about tough questions, I’m asking myself one. And I promise they won’t all be this long!


There seem to be categories of thoughts here:

Biblical Marriage: I keep seeing Christian friends post on Facebook that they believe in Biblical Marriage, and I keep hearing that term in political rhetoric. I’m not sure they know what that means. Some of the writers in the Bible (here’s looking at you, Solomon) had hundreds of wives. Some married slaves and servants. You had to marry your dead brother’s widow. Most in the Old Testament paid a dowry for their bride. It was not what many or any of us practice now or understand to be faithful marriage. No, I believe in New Testament marriage. Between Paul and Jesus, a very different picture is painted of marriage in the new covenant - picture that includes fidelity between one man and one woman. There is a picture of equality in marriage in the New Testament. Husbands and wives are to submit to one another out of love. It’s clear that Jesus, and later Paul, established a new model of Godly marriage that differed from the traditions even practiced in the Old Testament.

Re-writing Scripture: My biggest concern over this issue has less to do with our government, which I’ll get to, and more to do with the church. Simply, there are some Christians who simply don’t believe homosexuality is wrong anymore. They see this issue as a civil rights issue that we’ve progressed past, much like the issues of women’s rights and racial equality. I just finished Dr. King’s book Stride Toward Freedom about the Montgomery story. I have a hard time believing Dr. King would have seen homosexuality the same way proponents are seeing it today. The Church needs to confess and own the fact that we blatantly ignored Scripture as it relates to women and minorities in decades and centuries past. We didn’t have to reinterpret Scripture to for the civil rights issues concerning women and African Americans. The Bible has always had examples of women in leadership, Genesis has always said that we were created male and female in God’s image, and Paul has always said that in Christ there is neither male nor female, Greek nor Jew. Though the issue of slavery has been a tragic reality in cultures throughout the centuries, the Bible moves toward a message of freedom and the release of slaves, a radical statement 2,000 years ago. But the message of progressives today is saying, “We’re not really sure these Scriptures say what we’ve always thought they said.” Or, “We’ve moved past that.” Isn’t that tricky? Do we get to say that the Bible wasn’t talking about little white lies or that Jesus wasn’t talking about lusting after ‘pictures’ of women on a screen or that gossip is okay as long as it’s about someone really mean? Where do we draw the line of re-interpreting Scripture? When do we get to do away with all sin? When it becomes too inconvenient? I heard one pastor say, “Am I so sure that those 5-8 passages mean what we’ve always thought they mean that I’m going to tell homosexuals that they can’t enjoy a faithful relationship?” My response is, “Are you so sure they don’t that that you’re willing to risk eternity on it?” Because, the million dollar question is: What are the implications of being unrepentant over and even boastful in our sin? Two things stick out in Scripture to me. 1) Jesus had no problem bucking the system and calling out the religious order when it was wrong. When it came to marriage, Jesus lifted up a husband and wife and never mentioned homosexuality. He didn’t mind bucking the systems of Sabbath, sacrifice, forgiveness, family, poverty, race, age, finances, and eating codes…but he dared not buck that one. 2) Paul is crystal clear on the issue. Are you telling me that Paul, a Roman Citizen, had no knowledge of committed homosexual relationships and his writing was only about orgies and sex slavery and not what we see today? We don’t give Roman civilization enough credit when we do that. Homosexuality was prevalent. Paul deemed it a sin. I can’t get away from that.

Love: We need to love people. The Church is called to call the culture to repentance, but we love people in the midst of it. The truth is there’s a lot of things destroying the institution of marriage in our world: cohabitation, divorce, adultery, premarital sex, pornography, and homosexuality. We need to offer grace and God’s alternative. No one is judged into the Kingdom. We need to point people to Jesus and God’s Word. For God is the Righteous Judge that convicts our spirits when we are faced with truth. The Church needs to be a place where broken and sinful people can come and hear a message of forgiveness and new life in Christ. People need hope, and we are called to love our neighbor as ourselves. But that’s tricky. If I’m doing something that is blatantly against God’s will, I hope those who love me most will sit me down and point out a better way. We can’t water down forgiveness and not ask for repentance. That’s not loving and does no one any good.

Pandora’s Box: My concern on this issue as a country is what it means potentially for America. Are we ready to say that our government should not make any moral judgment on whom I should marry? That’s essentially the message, right? If the government can’t tell me who I can marry, then why should they be able to tell me how many I can marry? Why can’t I marry my cousin, then? Why do I have to marry a human? Who is the government to tell me how old I have to be to get married? I’m not sure what it will mean if we say that we’re not going to have our government offer any moral voice. We do have a moral code in America. We believe it’s wrong to murder, cheat, steal, and lie in many places. We got that moral code from somewhere. I fear that we could be opening Pandora’s Box here.  I'm not sure I want our government telling us who we can marry, yet I'm fearful of what that will mean as we continue to 'progress' as a country.

Allowing vs. Celebrating: Having voiced my fears, if you forced my hand, I’d probably say that it seems America should allow gay marriage because we have chosen to value and fight for freedom in this country. I believe this is the chief thing God has blessed in the United States – freedom. Freedom was God’s gift to humanity, and it has been our Founding Fathers gift to America. We believe in freedom to act and do as you please, as long as you don't harm others.  God gave us freedom to sin if we wanted to. We would not be arrested for sinning against God, but we’d face consequences. That’s where I come down on this. I think you should be allowed to burn the American Flag, but I don’t think you should. I think you should be allowed to have an affair, but I don’t think you should. I think you should be allowed to hate people, but I don’t think you should. I think you should be allowed to look at pornography, but I don’t think you should. I think you should be allowed to ignore the poor, but I don’t think you should. I think God’s vision would be that people don’t exercise the freedom’s they have because they choose a better path. No one burns flags because we respect authority (and the people who died for that freedom under that flag), no one has affairs, nobody hates another, the porn industry files for bankruptcy, and the poverty is eliminated not by government forced distribution of wealthy but through the generosity of those that have been blessed materially. And people can enter into gay marriage, but there no one does it because people found a better way. What bothers me is that so many in the Church are celebrating this. There’s a difference between allowing and celebrating. I think you should be able to burn the flag, but I don’t celebrate it. I think you should be allowed to cheat on your spouse, but I don’t celebrate it. I think God frowns up sin that is celebrated. That’s why, for me, this is a non-issue for how I do ministry. I proudly serve in a tradition that reaches out to homosexuals in love with grace but does not celebrate the sin. And my prayer is that we stay the course, for just because there is freedom doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences to our actions. Just because we’re allowed to do something doesn’t mean we should. Though the laws of this country may one day allow gay marriage, and maybe they should, homosexual relationships break the first and oldest command God gave us way back in Gen. 1:28, “Be fruitful and multiply.” It seems pretty clear that God’s plan from the get-go was for the women and men to be in relationship, and there might be consequences when we brazenly celebrate an alternative to God’s original plan.

What happened to Tuesday & Wednesday?

You have to understand my context.  I grew up in a community that did not have churches with a strong liturgical presence.  Then, I went to college and started going to a United Methodist Church, which celebrates many of the holy days in the Christian year.  However, the church I attended in college was largely contemporary and laid back with and felt a lot more like the Southern Baptist Church I grew up in, only with drums and an acoustic guitar.  So, when I served my United Methodist Church, fresh out of college and barely in seminary, I looked at them like they'd lost their mind when they asked me what we were doing for Advent.  Advent?  Is that when we celebrate people like Thomas Edison?  And when I first heard about Maundy Thursday, I thought, "What happened to Tuesday and Wednesday?"

I had a lot of learning to do.  The background for the term "Maundy Thursday" is even a little sketchy.  Experts can't even really agree on where the term Maundy came from.  You can read the Wikipedia page about it here.  My guess is even a lot of people going to services on Holy Thursday (which makes a lot more sense to say to me) don't know what Maundy means and maybe even the significance of the events of the day we are celebrating.

The story of Jesus' last meal with His disciples is rich with meaning for us, but the one that has stuck in my head has been that of how Jesus handed betrayal.  I recently read a book by Rev. Heidi Neumark about her 20 years as pastor of Transfiguration Lutheran Church in the South Bronx.  In it she tells a story of a grafitti memorial to one of the prominent gang members who was killed in the community.  He was killed in a gunfight that ensued because of his retaliation for being betrayed by a fellow gang member.  For years, people lit candles, left stuffed animals, and brought fast food to leave at the makeshift altar.  But that is not the only way to respond to betrayal.

Jesus was betrayed as well on the Thursday before Easter, and he chose sacrifice.  Judas was the first betrayer, but not the last.  All of His disciples (even mighty Peter) would desert him that night, yet Jesus still chose the cross.  The burgers and fries left at the altar of the slain gang member represent the choice to act in revenge to those that betray us; the bread and cup at the altar of Christ represent the choice to act in sacrifice to betrayal.  We have a choice when we are betrayed (and you will be).  We can retaliate with revenge, and perhaps it'll feel good in the short term.  Or, we can choose the way of Jesus and retaliate with love, forgiveness and sacrifice.  Holy Thursday is a reminder that Jesus chooses to love us and sacrifice for us even though we all betray him by our own sin, but it is also a reminder that we have the choice to respond as Jesus when we are betrayed.  The revenge of the world leaves us with sad memorials; sacrifice in the way of Jesus leads to resurrection.

I don't fit in

In the last year, I've become a pretty avid coffee drinker.  It makes me happy :)  However, I'm not really a Starbucks guy.  I like the coffee there just fine.  It's not that.  It's that I don't fit in.  I've scheduled a couple of meetings at Starbucks the last couple weeks because it seemed like the easiest location, and it was a good excuse to get an afternoon cup of coffee, which is not my norm.  When I walk in, I feel like I'm just not cool enough to be there.  I don't fit in.  I'm not trendy enough.  I'm not exactly sure how to order and what to order.  I don't go enough to remember which of their strange names for sizes are actually small, medium and large, so I have to look at the board, which is in a type-face meant for people with better vision than me.  I always feel like they're ready for the uncool, not-dressed-trendy dad to leave.

What a powerful example this is to the church and so crucial for Easter weekend.  Millions of people who haven't been in a long time and maybe ever will pour into churches this Sunday.  They come for the same reason I went to Starbucks:  the location is convenient and something is there that they think they want.  However, will their experience be like mine?  Will they hear language that doesn't make any sense or that they can't remember.  Will they feel like they are dressed appropriately?  Will they feel like they're being judged and pushed out the door as soon as possible?  Will they get what they came for, but leave with an empty cup?

This is not an indictment on traditional church.  In fact, one of my fears for the modern church is that we embrace trendiness so much that people who aren't 25, fit, and dressed out of a Banana Republic window don't fit in.  I think people just need space to be themselves.  I think people need to be coached in the things that hold meaning for us instead of us assuming they get it.  I think people simply need to feel the trends of grace and love instead of insider language, clothes, and atmosphere.  It's not that complicated to make people feel welcome.  Let's hope the Body of Christ uses the leverage of Easter to do it.

Stay Hungry

"Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness are blessed, for they will be filled." Matthew 5:6


I'm finding that I'm hungry lately. Not for burgers, fries, pizza or brownies. I've been hungry for more Jesus. I'm finding that the busier I get, the more necessary it is to slow down and seek Jesus' heart. I'm finding that the more my schedule fills the more I need to make time for time with Him. There is no secret to prayer. There are no special words or formulas. It is relationship at it's purest. Pouring your guts out and listening without interrupting. And there is no substitute for it. There are times when life calls for prayers on the run. It's a blessing that God is with us wherever we are; however, I want more. I hunger for more. I need to drink from the deepest well God has.

If you are too busy to pray, you are too busy. If your life is too loud to find time for a few moments of quiet, your life is too loud. If your schedule is too full to make and appointment with God, your schedule is too full. Christians too often call themselves people of faith but live very 'fleshly.' We depend on talent and strategy instead of dipping into the supernatural relationship we have with our Heavenly Father. We end up living surface lives with shallow faith. I have found that I need more than surface stuff from God. I need to the deepest stuff He's got. That takes time and patience and listening and reading. It takes a concerted effort. It takes being hungry for it. Work as hard as you can to be the best you can, but hunger for the things of God to which your best efforts and hard work can't come close. My prayer is that we would be a church full of people that are hungry for righteousness.

I missed it

Well, it happened last night.  My oldest son hit is first home run.  He's got rec specs this year, so he can actually see the ball.  That helps.  Hit it straight to center field and rounded the bases as fast as he can.  In the same game, my second-born hit a triple.  Great night at the plate for the Mac boys.  And I missed it.  I wasn't there.

No, I wasn't at a church meeting, denominational meeting, or emergency pastoral call.  I was helping coach my 4-year old's T-ball team at another park at the same time.  It is part of the challenge of having four boys during baseball season.  At least this year we only have two teams to follow.  Next year we will probably have four.

My children totally understand because they know no other world than being in a big family.  Somebody had to take the Walkman (that's what we call our 4-year old, Walker, sometimes) to his game, and my responsibilities as one of coaches for his team makes that decision a no-brainer.  It will be the first of a couple of simultaneous games I miss this year for my older boys.  But they need to learn this lesson.  I was raised in a family where my folks were at virtually everything I participated in:  chorus, church, sports and anything else.  I believe in doing the same thing.  However, my boys have to learn the lesson, now or eventually, that Momma and Daddy will NOT always be there.  I am not omnipresent.  In fact, I'm not omni-anything.  I'm just a dad.  My hope and prayer for my boys is that they develop a deep relationship with the Father who IS omnipresent, who can be with all His children at once.  A Father that will always be there, even when they feel all alone and like the whole world is against them.  A Father who will never leave them or miss a game.  My goal as a parent is not to make every game.  I want to, but it's not what's most important.  My goal as a parent is to make sure they know they are loved by a Father that is always there, even when Momma and Daddy pull out of a parking lot at some dorm at some college a long time from now.

Justice

"If you open your heart to the hungry and provide abundantly for those who are afflicted, your light will shine in the darkness." Isaiah 58:10

God has been telling me something about justice lately. One of the books I had to read for my doctoral studies was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Stride Toward Freedom about the civil rights story during his time in Montgomery. Of course, we're hosting Family Promise beginning this Sunday, and I've been given the honor of speaking at the Family Promise National Convention (which is in Atlanta) this May. Last night, this passage was one of the ones in our LIFE Group study that meets at our house. Okay, God, I think I get the hint. The Church has done more for the poor than any organization in the history of planet earth. However, we have also rightfully gotten a bad rap for not being for justice in the world.

Christians often give to a missionary overseas, send a shoebox filled with goodies to a far off country, or volunteer a day at a local soup kitchen and feel like we've done our good deed for the day...or year. But followers of God never get a pass. In fact, this is one of the primary ways we are a light for the community. We live in a world where people feel alone, downtrodden, helpless, and outcast. People live in darkness. The simplest of deeds, as the Body of Christ in the world, can help people see light in the darkness. But we don't do this to feel better about ourselves. We don't do this for show. We do this because it honors God, who is FOR justice, who is FOR people. When we become FOR the things God is for, we start to look like Him. You want to grow closer to God? Then be about the things He is about -- you'll find Him standing right next to you.

Got Questions?

Church of the Way is doing a series starting in April called "Preacher, I've got a question."  It's about the questions that people always want to ask about God, the Church, the Bible, Jesus or just Life.  We want to shape it around the real questions of the community, so we need your help.  We're going to take the best and most often used questions for the series and answer the rest through this blog.  What questions do you want answered?  Feel free to reply in the comments and be anonymous if you like!