Election Night in my House

It's over.  After a long night and constant checking in...it's done with.  Back to normal life.  Election night really was one to remember in my house.  It's finally finished, but it was exhausting.

That's because we had a possum in garage on election night.

That's right.  A possum came to eat may cats' food (and this is the 3rd time we've seen the fellow).  This is especially important because two of our three cats are kittens and spend most of their time right now in the garage.  And we had a possum.  Welcome to country living.

In the midst of the most contentious election in my lifetime and maybe in our country's history, I had a real homegrown problem to deal with.  And as the important decision our country was making gained clarity amidst the suspense with every vote tallied, I had an important issue to take care of myself.  And I was reminded of something very important.

Neither President-Elect Donald Trump nor Secretary of State Hillary Clinton can or will help me get the possums out of my garage.

I had to work to trap it, protect our kittens, pray and hope that our big cat could fend for herself for the night outside the garage and try to get this taken care of.  And the results of the election offered no help.  By morning, the situation was resolved, the kittens are back in their space and life is back to normal.  It probably won't be the last possum, and it definitely won't be the last family semi-emergency.  And it was such a crucial reminder for me.

I have friends on all sides politically.  Some of them are celebrating today and some are lamenting.  I'm pretty fiercely independent, and I'm also mindful as a Christian leader that I deeply desire for my life and our church to reflect that God's heart, love and salvation is for all people -- liberal, conservative, Republican, Democrat and Independent.  I have opinions, but I've never been a big 'side-picker' in politics because I know all candidates are a lot like me -- made in the image of God and yet deeply flawed.  However, I am keenly aware of the wool that perhaps we've all allowed to be pulled over our eyes this election.  And that's simply this:  that this election will provide us with answers and solutions to once and for all fix all our problems.

It won't.  You'll have to get rid of your own possums.  I like to say, "I've got dadding to do."  Being a dad is a verb for me most of the time.  I've got living to do.  I've got husbanding to do.  I've got pastoring to do.  I've got neighbor-loving to do.  I've got exercising to do.  I've got fixer-upper projects to do.  I've got financial planning to do.  I've got community involvement to do.  I've got reaching out to do.  I've got caring for the hurting to do.  I've got driving-my-boys-to-rec-league-basketball to do.

The rise of social media and endless political commentary has brought to life for me a dangerous attitude:  that a political figure offers all we need.  Neither Trump nor Clinton nor Johnson nor anyone offers such.  No president ever has.  No president ever will.

Jesus offers all we need.  Forgiveness, grace, salvation.  And then I still have to go live my life walking in grace.  And I'll still have to get rid of all the possums in my garage.  It's my responsibility, not any politicians, to be the best Christian, person, husband, father and citizen I can be.  And, honestly, election results will have little impact on that.  I get to choose how I live, and I get to be responsible for me.  And goodness, I've got enough to clean up in my own life.

What I will do is pray for President Obama and President-Elect Trump as they work through another shift in handing over of the Oval Office in a few months.  I'll continue to pray for elected officials and elections.  I'll continue to be informed and vote.  But, what I want to be most busy about is getting the possums out of my own garage.  I got one, but I think there's a lot more stuff inside my heart to clean out.

Sunday Preview & Thought for the Week (5.7.15)

I hope you've had a great week.  This series "Why are Christians so..." has challenged me.  It's difficult work for Christ followers to dig deep into what others think of us, especially if it's uncomfortable.  It's so easy to just say, "Well, God knows the truth."  Over and over again in the Bible, we see people like Noah and Job who grew not only in their faith, but in their stature and reputation among others around them.  This week, we're going to continue the hard work of looking within and ask what others are asking:  "Why are Christians so self-righteous?"

Thought for the Week
"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing."  Luke 13:34

That's a quote from Jesus many don't know.  He looks over Jerusalem and sees them with a mother's eyes.  God is often described as our loving Father, and rightfully so.  He is the Father that waits expectantly for the prodigals to come home.  But Jesus takes a different angle.  He sees those that are hurting and scattered through the lens of a mother's love.  This Sunday is Mother's Day and a time all of us reflect back on the love of our mother, whether or not she is still with us.  Of course, we're also reminded of the many other women who mothered us through the years.  A grandmother, step-mom, aunt or even Sunday School teacher.  There is something about the nurturing spirit of motherly love.  Do you know that this is how Christ sees you?  He wants to nurture you and guide you back on the path.  He wants to gather you up and put band-aids on all your old wounds.  He wants to sit around the table and nourish you.  He wants to bring you home, with him, to love you and dote on you.  Let us not be among those that scatter and run away from this Eternal Parent that wants us back in the fold.  Let us not be fearful of a Big Judge in the sky.  That is not the image Jesus intends here.  No, the message is clear.  As a mother hen sees her precious little chicks, so I see you.  You are vulnerable, but you are mine.  Come home where it is safe.  No matter how far you've wandered...you can always come home to Jesus.

In Christ,

Carter McInnis
Lead Pastor

Forgiveness & Paint

I was in Home Depot last week with my 4 year old.  We were picking out some colors of paint for his big brother's room.  It was kind of slow in there, not like a busy Saturday morning.  There was no one else in the paint section but me.  Two employees were talking behind the paint counter.  It was clear one was some kind of manager, and they were having a spirited conversation about sales and comparisons to other stores in the area.  The manager was coaching up the other one on how to increase sales.  Pretty soon, it got a little salty.  One of the said that "S" word.  You guessed it:  $#!t.  My son didn't hear it as he was in his own world, and I ignored it as I went about choosing colors.

As we approached the counter, their conversation continued (instead of focusing on the customer) and I heard it again.  They finally stopped the conversation and asked if they could help me.  I told them, "Guys, I appreciate that you're having an intense conversation here, but do you think you could watch your language in front of my four year old?"  They apologized.  I'm not really a prude.  My boys hear plenty of language at SEC football games.  It's expected there.  I just don't expect it at Home Depot picking out paint.

I ordered my paint, went to pick out a few other things and came back to pick it up after it was mixed.  The manager pulled me aside and apologized again.  He was very genuine.  I told him it was no problem, I understood and I appreciated it.  He said, "Again, I apologize."  I responded, kind of out of the blue, "You're forgiven."  And he was.  I didn't have time to be mad that afternoon or time to discuss it.  I was over it because my schedule dictated it.  There were more important things to do in the day than judge his mistake or worry more about it.  Right there next to the brushes, I forgave him.  He had done a wrong, and he was officially absolved.

And I thought, "Why do we have time for unforgiveness anyway?"  What if time was part of our forgiveness equation?  Holding grudges takes so much effort, energy and time.  It was so easy to say "You're forgiven" and be done with it.  If I saw him again we'd probably laugh about it.  I've got bigger things to worry about than NOT forgiving him.  And, in the grand scheme of things, that's nothing.  It was a little mistake.

Part of the preparation for Easter is taking time to focus on the crucifixion of Jesus, where forgiveness was on full display.  It proves God's love for us.  Do you know God doesn't have time to NOT forgive you.  He's got so many other big things to worry about, and, frankly, he's got gigantic plans for your life so He'd rather forgive you and be done with it.  In fact, when Jesus died on the cross, he went ahead and took care of it.  Also, your mistake is kind of puny in light of his gigantic grace, so I really wouldn't sweat it.  It's over.  It's done.  It is finished.  You're forgiven.  Be on to bigger and better things.  And be thankful for the cross.

Right here, Daddy!

I am coaching T-ball this year.  My two youngest sons, 4 and 6, are on the team.  My six-year old is a pretty good ball player and can swing the bat pretty good.  My little one, Brooks, is a little fella and one of the youngest on the team.  He swings as hard as he can, which isn't very hard, but he hits it off the tee alright.

I pitch each player three pitches before they get two swings off the tee.  A couple of games ago, I hit Brooks.  He was none too happy.  The next game up, he was obsessed with me pitching it perfect -- right down the middle.  He basically stuck his bat out and said, "Pitch it right here."  It became more of a game of me trying to hit the bat rather than him trying to hit the ball.  I told him that he had to actually swing the bat himself and do some work.  He pointed and said, "Right here."

Isn't that the way we are with God?  Throw it right here, Father, right down broadway.  We don't want to have to swing.  We want God do to things juuuuust right in our lives so that it requires minimal effort on our part.  But we have to swing.  We have to take steps of faith.  We might have to practice.  We might have to swing and miss a few times.  We might even strike out.  God wants to give us opportunities, but we have to swing the bat.

Don't miss out on what God has in store because you're waiting for the perfect pitch.  Swing the bat at the pitch God has given you right now.  It won't be the last pitch.  Faith is swinging when we're not sure if we're going connect.  Faith is swinging after we missed the last time.  Faith is trusting that God will put the right ball in the right spot at the just the right time we need a home run.  You see, God believes in us.  Believes we can hit it.  Believes in who He created us to be.  God doesn't want to do it alone.  God wants to do it with us, in us and through us.  So swing away.  Trust me...God is a much better pitcher than me.

Together

I've been off the blogosphere for a while, as it's been a little hectic lately.  I'm happy to be back, and wanted to share what we've been up to.

On Sunday, March 1, we had a crazy day.  I got to be a part of something that most pastors never get to be a part of - serving as pastor of a merged congregation on launch Sunday.  In fact, I have been a part of three things most pastors never get to be a part of.  I was blessed with the honor of starting a church 10 years ago, and I have been grateful to see that church launch a 2nd campus in Grayson.  Over the last six months, I have had the privilege to lead that church into a merger with a church that has been around for 166 years for a newly merged permanent campus.  Planting a church and merging churches are both crazy endeavors.

There is so much power in merging congregations.  In many ways, it is much like a marriage.  The first few years of marriage you have to find your way a little.  A church merger includes lots of 'finding your way' in the relationship.  It's incredibly complicated.  Merging finances, getting a new name, and combining leadership are actually the easy part.  The hard part is merging cultures.  Whether it's 10 years or 166 years, churches develop ways of doing things.  Just like a marriage, a merged church has to learn how to do things together.

But merging a church is a beautiful thing if God's Spirit is in it.  I am reminded that I have new friends with which to do ministry.  Many of these new friends are already near and dear to my heart.  I would never have known them had we not walked down this path.  They are beautiful disciples of Jesus.  Like a marriage, a merger is an admission that we need each other to be our best, that life was not better alone.  And it's beautiful when it works.  There is great power and beauty when the Body of Christ unites and says, "We are in this together."

I'll admit it's messy.  There is no easy way.  There are bumps and long hours of prayer.  There are hiccups.  Every marriage has them.  You expect it in marriages.  We should expect it in mergers.  But we keep learning.  We learn to be better spouses.  And we learn to be better brothers and sisters in Christ.

And, like a new marriage, their remains the promise of offspring.  When young parents have children, the realize that through the messiness of the early years and the hiccups and the hard work, there are actual humans that wouldn't be here without them being together.  Their love and commitment to one another allowed a little one to be nurtured.  Young parents have a child or adopt a child and realize they have a bigger purpose.  It wasn't just to be together.  It was for the new life that emerged that they are now raising.

That's a church merger.  It's not just being together.  It's not just that together we can be better, pay the bills sooner or be with one another.  It's that together, we can bring new life into relationships with Jesus that we could not have done apart.  Suddenly, we have a new purpose.  This week, my wife and celebrate 14 years of marriage.  At this point, I can't remember life without her.  There was a time, though, in the early years, that I could.  Time and life and welded us together.  I don't even remember me before her.  I think that's how church mergers are supposed to work.  There will come a time when we can hardly remember life apart.  We'll be raising new kids together, and no one will recall there was a time it wasn't like this.  We'll just embrace the present.

That day will be here before we know it.  But it wouldn't happen without the faithful pioneers at Harmony Grove United Methodist Church and The United Methodist Church of the Way.  Somebody had to go through the dating and courtship, pre-marital counseling and wedding.  Somebody had to go through the early years.  I'm so honored to serve the men and women of God who have done just that.  After one whole week, on a Saturday night before our SECOND Sunday together, I find myself more excited than ever about ministry.  I feel like a newlywed.  If you're around the area, I hope you'll come check out what God is doing at Harmony Grove Church of the Way or Gwinnett Church of the Way.  You can get directions and worship times here.

The Culture of Condemnation

A long time ago, Jesus arrived on the scene into a culture of condemnation.  The religious culture was run-a-muck with self-righteous leaders who had the appearance of piety and holiness and handed down judgments of condemnation to those sinners who committed the most heinous and public sins.  Stone the adulterer.  Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.  Cast out the sinners, tax collectors and prostitutes.  Demonize the unclean.  Jesus turned things upside down.  He said that being angry was the equivalent of murder.  He said that adultery starts in the heart, and that lusting after another is just the same as the act.  Wait...what?  Jesus said that there isn't one of us that has it all figured out, even the ones that look like they do.  He went on to say to the religious leaders some pretty harsh words:  "On the outside you seem righteous to people, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness" (Matthew 23:28).

Social media has again ushered us into a Culture of Condemnation.  Our keyboards have simply made it easier to condemn everyone -- athletes, movie stars, politicians, and acquaintances.  Everyone has an opinion, and we now have a forum to share it -- with little consequence.  In fact, we'll probably get a few affirming 'likes' for our tirade.  The situations in the NFL over the last week or so has brought this to light even more.  Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, and Greg Hardy have shed an ugly light on abuse and violence.  Domestic abuse to anyone, especially to a woman or child, is reprehensible.  We can all agree on that.  Moreover, when laws are broken, society needs people to be held accountable.  However, what I have noticed is how these situations have allowed so many of us to get on our high horse and condemn these men.  "We would never do such a thing."  "They are monsters."  "They deserve the worst."  Maybe all those things are true.  I'd never hit a woman or child.  They certainly need to be punished as anyone else would.

But I keep thinking about what Jesus said.  I keep thinking about how I might not have broken laws on the outside, I'm often "full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."  I keep thinking...

• What if my worst moment was caught on camera like Ray Rice?
• What if there was a camera in my soul?
• I'd never hurt or hit someone...but does it count if I've thought about it?
• What about all those times I've been so angry at someone I could scream?
• What about the times I did scream?
• Have I ever crossed the line in disciplining my children?
• Do lies that no one knows about count?
• What about lust?

Don't get me wrong.  We need to discipline law-breakers and educate people on how to be good citizens.  But, Jesus seemed much less concerned about 'just being a good citizen' in the neighborhood.  He said you could look like a good citizen and be dead on the inside.  He said we're all broken.  Jesus challenges us deeper.  This is why I'm so slow to condemn.  I've got so much of my own mess to clean up.  I think we know wrong when we see it.  No one that hears of the pending cases in the NFL could dispute that.  But I know there is stuff that I don't know about everyone that gives me pause to condemn.  And it's what I do know about myself that gives me the most pause.

Create in me clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Irreplaceable

The casualty

So, this was the damage done.  We recently had a hot dog roasting at church.  It was a chilly day and my seven-year old was wearing his best big coat -- a red and black jacket with logos from his favorite team, the Georgia Bulldogs.  Somewhere in the process of roasting a hot dog, he brushed  up against the metal fire pit.  Thus, the melting began.  It burned this whole in the jacket.  As some of the men gathered around and I found out from my wife about the incident, one of them said, "At least it was just a Georgia jacket."  I said, "What do you mean?" thinking that was a knock on our team.  He responded, "And not a kid."  And that's right.  Jackets can be replaced.  Kids can't.  Jackets can be patched up.  Kids can't.

As parents, it's so easy to fall prey to the materialism of our culture without realizing it.  We ascribe value to things that essentially have no value.  1,000 years ago if you burned a hole in the cloth covering you wore as a coat, that was a good reason to make you another one.  People have value.  Things really don't.  Every parent knows this, but we forget it -- easily.

This Christmas, some child is going to break something that was very expensive.  They're going to drop the iPad or iPhone.  They're going to step on the new train set.  He's going to rip a hole in those new jeans playing touch football at Grandma's.  She's going to get glitter-glue all over that new sweater.  They're going to throw a baseball through the new 3D HDTV.  Some kid is going to lose a toy they just got.  It's going to happen in the next three days somewhere.  It might happen to you.  Our temptation is going to be to get furious.  "Don't you know how much that costs?!"  But it can be replaced.  We live in a culture that decided those things are expensive.  But they're not.  You can go right down to the store and buy another one just like it.

Now, responsibility and accountability are important life lessons.  Kids need to be taught to value things and take care of stuff.  Money does not grow on trees, and being responsible for the things that are ours is an important part of growing up.  However, understanding the things on which you cannot put a price tag is a more important lesson.  Technology is a wonderful thing.  Advances in engineering and media have made our lives better, simpler and faster.  But they are just things.  Things that will break. Things that will be repaired.   Things that will be replaced.  I struggle with this at Christmas, when it seems like a competition between parents as to who can get their kids the most valuable toys.  I struggle with the expectations of my children because at a young age they already have an appetite for things the world says are valuable.  I want them to have nice things.  I want them to go crazy when they open a present.  I want them to be proud of and responsible with their things.  But more than anything else, I want them to know that they are valuable.  People are valuable.  People -- not iPads, not HDTVs, not the latest lego set, not designer clothes, not Kindle Fires, not cars, not houses, not even red & black UGA jackets -- are made in the image of God.  We don't believe Jesus died for things.  Jesus died for people because people matter.

Christians & Santa

I can remember when I first heard it.  I was standing in my dorm room in Amsterdam while I was on a mission trip with the college campus ministry with which I was involved.  My roommate on the trip had grown up in a vastly different church world than I had.  He had come from a much more charismatic background.  I had been raised Southern Baptist, so we had both come from fairly conservative traditions.  I was on my way to becoming a United Methodist pastor as well.  But I'd never heard anything like it.  He told me that he would not be teaching his (yet unborn and unconceived) children about Santa Claus.  He said that it would confuse his children and that they might think he was lying to them about Jesus, too.  He said that it was a worldly idea and not what Christmas was about.  He said that right from the get-go he'd let his children know that there was no Santa Claus and that Christmas was about Jesus' birth, not some imaginary fat guy in a red suit.  He proclaimed that it does children a world of damage when parents make children think that a fairy tale is true.  Children will end up thinking Jesus is a fairy tale, too.  Same goes for the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy in his house.  I spent the next hour thanking my Heavenly Father that my roommate was not my dad.

This issue has become particularly poignant for us this year because my two oldest boys (7 and 9) are asking a lot of questions.  They've got friends whispering in their ear about Jolly Ol' St. Nick.  They're saying that some of their friends don't believe in Santa and that they think their parents put the presents out.  When they ask the right question or make the right comment, we'll have a good talk about it.  They're on the fence.  It's a curious time around the McInnis household, and more and more, I hear this conversation popping up among Christians.  And I want to be honest -- I don't get it.

I grew up in a house in which my parents just didn't make a big deal of things.  When an inappropriate scene came across a video, they fast-forwarded the VCR (remember those?!).  We went to parties or tailgates where people drank, a lot, and my parents simply chose not to drink at all instead of avoiding the gatherings.  My youth pastor would play secular music on the church bus and turn it down when a phrase came up that wasn't 'youth group friendly.'  That means he actually knew the songs.  And when I finally learned the truth about Santa and his reindeer... well, it just wasn't that big of a deal (except to the girl I broke the news to in Ms. Moon's 4th grade class.)  In fact, it was mind-boggling to me to realize that my parents had gone to all that trouble all those years to make Christmas special.  And Santa still came long after I'd gone to college.  It was just as special even after I 'knew.'

I never thought Jesus wasn't real because my parents lived Jesus.  We went to church every week, I saw them studying their Sunday School lesson, and saw our tithe check on the corner of the counter every Sunday morning.  Santa was a once a year deal.  It was fun.  I made lists and sent them to Santa because I was a kid.  And kids do fun things.  Kids dress up and say they're Batman.  Kids think they're going to play in the NFL when they're six.  Kids pretend to be princesses.  Kids think Lightnin' McQueen is a real car.

I fear that we have forgotten how to be fun as Christians.  We have an Elf on the Shelf because it's fun, but I remind my children all the time that God is always watching us, and our biggest motivation to behave and make good decisions is to please and honor God.  But for three weeks, the Elf (Russ, in our house) is fun.  Christians have different convictions.  Some people feel really strongly about Santa and anything secular at Christmas.  That's okay.  But I hope those Christians know how to have fun.  I think God smiles at good-natured fun.  Moreover, I think the world looks at us like we're weird and shuts the door on a conversation with us when we can't have fun.  Now, as Christ-Followers, we are weird.  We are ruled by radical hospitality and amazing grace, something strange to the rest of the world.  However, when we call 'everything' that didn't originate from the Church worldly, evil or "secular," outsiders begin to wonder if they can even be our friends.  It just seems to me that it's okay to have fun.  And I think kids like fun, and I think they understand the difference between fun and the Solid Rock upon which we have built our family.

What I hope my kids are thankful for

I have found that being a parent is one of the most challenging jobs on the planet.  You’re never exactly sure if you’re doing it right.  Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, you figure out that you don’t.  Parenting, I’ve learned, has to have an eye on the future.  If you live totally in the present, you’ll drive yourself crazy because children are children (and children are inherently crazy and irrational – right?).  What I try to do is see my children as adults, which is a challenge in the midst of wrestling matches and legos (I have four boys).  One day, though, they’ll sit around on a Thanksgiving holiday and think about the things for which they are thankful.  I hope their minds drift back to childhood and they see life a little differently as adults.  Now, they are thankful for going to school, playing with friends, or eating a yummy dinner, at least those are the things that constantly fill their night-time prayers.  But, here are the things I hope they’re thankful for when they get a little older:

• That we didn’t always get them what they wanted – because life won’t always give them what they want.
• That we made them eat their vegetables – because their health and nutrition were more important than their tastes.
• That we drove our cars for a long time – because saving for their college was more important than driving in a new ride.
• That their parents sometimes made-out in the kitchen – because that means they were still making out with each other and not someone else.
• That we had rules and we stuck to them – because it taught them how to be a good student, employee and citizen.
• That we read the Bible to them – because they learned there was a higher authority than their parents.
• That we played board games and watched animated movies with them – because we wanted to spend time with them more than do something ‘productive’ around the house.
• That we made them go to bed early – because mom and dad needed a few hours of sanity in the evenings, and it helped us be ready for another crazy morning.
• That the house wasn't always spotless -- because that would have meant less board games and fewer backyard football games.
• That we were honest with them about who they dated -- because their feelings as a teenager weren't as important to us as their heart and future as an adult.
• That we prayed for them – because we understood that they will be on their own one day.
• That we followed through with consequences – because life has consequences.
• That we’d drop them off with anyone willing to keep them so we could go on a date – because we understood that a strong marriage was a bedrock of our family.
• That we guarded who their friends were – because we understood better than they did how impressionable they were.
• That we guarded who our friends were – because we understood how impressionable they were.
• That we told them “I love you” a lot – because if they believed that, they’d be able to accomplish much more.
• That we hugged and kissed them a lot (even when they got older and it was embarrassing) – because touch matters.

Much of parenting is seeing into the future.  I’m hopeful my boys will be able to appreciate the things we did on their behalf when they are old enough to understand it all.  That may mean that they don’t particularly appreciate those things now.  I’m okay with that.  I’m thankful that I get to be their dad and take them on that journey with my sweet wife.