Next Season

There is a tendency to miss the season you're in because you're looking to the next.  The next season always looks better, but there's so much in this season we shouldn't miss.

Whenever I go to an empty-nester's house (whether it be our parents or friends), I'm always amazed at how immaculate their houses are.  My house looks like an F5 tornado made it's way through the den and hallways.  There is always a basketball and bike in the yard.  There are paper airplanes everywhere.  There are cups and water bottles from school lunches all over the counter.  There are legos and nerf gun bullets in the strangest places.  It's because I have four boys 12 and under living in this house.  This is just the way it is.  It's easy to look at those clean houses and think, "Man, that'd be nice."  But those houses don't have little boys (or girls) living in them any more.  And I'll miss these days once they come.

The seasons pass so fast, and we shouldn't be so hurried to get through them to the next one.  The next one will be fine and good, but it will have its own shortcomings, and you'll miss the things about this season you never thought you would.

• Middle schoolers can't wait to get to high school, but find out that high school isn't as care free as it seems.
• High schoolers can't wait to get to college or get a 'real job' but find out college professors and bosses aren't as forgiving as their high school Social Studies teacher was.
• Young adults can't wait to have a baby, but they learn that babies are a lot of work.
• Young parents can't wait for their babies to be able to walk and play, but it doesn't take long to realize they make a lot more messes.
• Parents with kids can't wait for their kids to get a little more responsibility as teenagers, but, you know, then you have teenagers.
• Parents can't wait for their kids to get on their own, but the house seems eerily quiet.
• We can't wait to retire but find that we lose a little purpose sometimes in retirement.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."  If we are always bemoaning the season we are in, we'll miss the beauty of it.  If we are always looking at what's next, we might miss what's now.  

My oldest nephew is graduating high school in a few weeks.  It was just yesterday I was holding him in the hospital.  Just yesterday it seems.  It goes by fast.  Every season.  So enjoy every season.  The next one will be great, but milk today for all its worth.  You never get it back.

Justin Spieth and the Art of Losing

We had Sunday evening worship, but I had set my DVR.  I was looking forward to watching the final round of the Master's to close out the weekend Sunday night.  As I saw what was happening scroll across my Twitter feed and as I kept updating the leader board, I knew it would be hard to watch.  I'm no huge golf fan, but I appreciate the majors.  It's when all the stars play, and it offers the highest pressure.  You become a legend at the majors.

Justin Spieth, the reigning Master's champion failed under the pressure Sunday.  It was hard to watch, especially knowing what was coming.  He's only 22.  I felt for him.  He's closer to my son's age than he is to mine.  He is already a two-time major champion, but he experienced what will probably be the most painful loss of his career on Sunday.  Very rarely do you have it in hand and lose it so dramatically.  And what we found is that he is also a champion in the Art of Losing.

Don't get me wrong.  I hate losing.  Hate it.  H-A-T-E it.  Not everyone hates losing, but no one really likes it.  When you're three, you learn quickly to not like it when you don't get your way.  This is your introduction to losing.  Most three year-olds don't handle it well.

And this isn't to say that we ought to become good losers who don't care about winning.  It's absurd to think that handling losing with grace and class means you're a good loser and no longer able to compete.  But all of us have to decide if we are going to master the Art of Losing.  Spieth's post-match interview was awe-inspiring.  He was somber but gracious.  He was hurt but already healing.  I'm impressed by a 22 year-old golfer who took a devastating defeat in stride.  Disappointed, yes...but in stride.  Here's why this is so important -- it won't be his last loss.

Life is losing.  You are constantly losing something:

• Every one of us is losing our youth, daily.
• Parents are slowly losing control and influence over their growing children.
• As we age we are losing our ability to be hired or ability to earn income.
• Sometimes we lose jobs.
• We will all lose loved ones to death.
• We lose relationships and routines when moving.

Yes, life is full of beautiful and joyous victories (like sports) and humbling losses (like sports).  If you do it long enough, you can't avoid the losses.  And we all know people that have handled aging, retirement, becoming empty nesters, death of loved ones and change poorly.  That usually means we haven't masters the Art of Losing.  The Art of Losing really is just about maturity.  It's the realization that I don't always get my way and things don't always go how I predicted or wanted them to go.  I just don't always win.

And this matters greatly in our walk with God.  Jesus said, "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it" (Matthew 16:15).  If you can't handling losing, you're going to have a hard time following Jesus.  Something tells me Spieth will do alright aging, retiring and dealing with the losses that come with life.  How will we handle it when God asks us to lose for God's purposes?

What Parenting Has Taught Me About God

I believe there's a reason the chief imagery God uses as his relationship to us is that of a parent.  I'm learning more about God as a parent.  I'm learning what it means to be God's child.

First, if you're not a parent, don't run off thinking this isn't for you.  You are a child of God, your Heavenly Father, so this is most definitely about you.  And, I hope I can give you a little glimpse into the heart of a parent which might give all of us a glimpse into God's heart.

Being a parent is hard.  You have this child and everything they call 'theirs' is because you have either provided it for them or allowed them to have it.  Even the gifts from family are only there because you have allowed them.  They own nothing, but they think they own everything.  They live in your house, and you provide things for them that they don't even think about:  water, heat, A/C, electricity and food.  You understand these things have a cost.  They think they are entitled to them.

You also love them, so this is no big deal.  And you love them all the same, no matter how many kids you have.  And you appreciate they are different.  You love what makes them each unique.  Your heart drops to the most bottom pit of your stomach when you think they are seriously injured, sick or that time you couldn't find them at the grocery story for, like, 90 seconds.  The thought of them being lost or getting hurt or sick or dying are literally like the worst things you can possibly think of.  You just want them to live and be happy.

You think you know what will make them happy.  You do.  You set up rules to protect them from bodily harm, and you set up parameters to guard their hearts and emotions.  You understand they are delicate.  You want to shield them from danger.  You also have rules that will build the right kind of character they'll need later in life.  Some of them are kind of silly, but they'll seem much more important later on when the decisions and relationships get bigger and more important.

But you have a problem:  you can't make them do anything.  In fact, it takes about six months for their own free will to show up and it only gets stronger.  You can't make them be grateful for what they have been given and show that in their actions with gratitude.  You can't make them obey you and do what will ultimately be in their best interest.  You can't make them to anything.  They are free.  And your heart breaks for them when they make bad decisions because you know what's best for them and you can kind of see the future if this decision was about something more important, maybe even life threatening.

You could scare them into listening because you are bigger and louder, but you don't want them to be afraid of you.  You want them to have a healthy, respectful fear of disappointing you, but not be afraid of you.  For you first inclination toward them is love, so you don't want that.  So you just keep trying to interject influence.  That's all you can do -- influence them.  You can surround them with good influences and keep interjecting yourself into their lives. You become ever-present and wait for them to ask you for advice -- finally.  And you always forgive them, because they're your kid.

Every single one of us is that child to God.  He has provided us with things we take for granted (like, you know, air).  He has given us parameters that are in our best interest.  And he could scare us to death if he showed us his face and how hurt he was when we don't obey.  It's not in His nature.  He loves us, and he'll keep seeking to influence us because he can't and won't make us love him.  Have you asked him for advice...finally? Do you know that He'd forgive you?

15 years

March 10, 2001
First Baptist Church - Hamlet, NC

Today, March 10, is our 15th wedding anniversary.  It's hard for me to believe it has gone by so fast.  Just yesterday we were newlyweds without a care in the world.  We came and went as we pleased, took walks and naps.  Now we have children.  Lots of them.  Four rowdy boys.  Going and coming is much more difficult, but the house is a lot livelier.  I'm also keenly aware that 15 years from now on our 30th anniversary there will be no boys in the house, and it'll be quiet again -- just me and Em.  So, for this season, we spend a lot more time being mom and dad than being husband and wife.  But we don't really see it that way.  It's kind of all rolled into one.

In 15 years, we've learned a lot about life, marriage, and family.  We've learned a lot about ourselves, our faith and our Lord.  And we're still learning.  Can I tell you something, though, about our marriage that has been such a high value for us and so important in our 15 years?  I've never spoken a cross word to Emily.  She's never spoken one to me.  We've never raised our voices at each other, and I'm not kidding you, we've never had an argument.

Now, that's not to say there haven't been difficult times and seasons.  We've had to work through misunderstandings, disappointment and hurt feelings.  It happens in marriage.  But we have always done it with love and kindness.  She's never hurt me on purpose, and I've never hurt her on purpose.  We've never said something to intentionally cut each other down to size.  And it has made all the difference.  She is my teammate, why would I fight with her?  Besides, we're outnumbered in this house.  We've got to stick together.

We have asked instead of commanded.  We've taken a breath instead of reacting.  We've spoken softly instead of getting agitated.  We've forgiven instead of holding a grudge.  We've overlooked flaws instead of being irritated by them.  We've embraced each other's quirks.

But, the secret is that we genuinely try to put each other first.  I try to fix what she needs fixed around the house.  She runs the errands I asked her to run.  We respect each other and honor each other.  We try to think of what each other would want.  We don't push our agenda.  We seek to serve each other.
All the time I say that staying married isn't that hard.  I guess that's not totally true.  It is hard if you're not willing to put your spouse before yourself.  Pretty soon, any of us would get pretty irritated living with a selfish person.  And that's the root of all marriage issues:  selfishness.  That's why perhaps the most important passage for a marriage is Philippians 2:3-4:  "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."  15 years in, and we're still learning how to do this, but I think we're better at it now more than ever, and I think we're getting better at it.  That's our goal, to get better at laying ourselves down for each other.  And that's why marriage is such a powerful metaphor for our relationship with God.  Putting down our own interests for the interest of God is what life in Jesus is, ultimately, all about.

Happy 15 years, my Love.  Can't wait for more!

Losing an Hour

This week is the week every pastor dreads:  Daylight Savings Time.  Oh, don't get me wrong.  I'm delighted about longer days.  It's just that pastors are the major people that have to deal with the stress of Daylight Savings Time.  Will folks oversleep and miss church?  Will volunteers and staff show up on time?  Will everyone be confused?

Why can't we lose and hour in the middle of the workday on Monday?

Life Hack:  Eat a light breakfast and change your clocks when you get up on Saturday morning.  Get your body eating on the new schedule and you'll go to bed at the right time (which is really an hour earlier) and won't feel so tired on Sunday and Monday.

Anyway, I'm more concerned about the hours I lose on my own volition.  I'm more concerned about the hours I'll never get back.  Just yesterday, it seems we were holding our firstborn son.  He'll be 12 this summer, and he has less time at home than the time he's already spent at home.  I can't lose an hour with him or any of my boys.

As they get older, it becomes increasingly apparent that frivolous pursuits that waste time aren't worth it.  I need to savor every moment, because we've only got about seven years left with him, eight with my second born.  The clock is ticking.  It's ticking on the time I have to influence them, mold them, mentor them, shape them, encourage them, discipline them, teach them, do life with them and love them.

They'll go tot college and do life with friends.  They'll get married and do life with their wives and kids.  But we have to teach them how to do life.  For me, it's very important that I teach them what it means to love Jesus.  Time is the most precious commodity of a parent, and the hours of carpooling and sitting through ballgames, practices and recitals can be exhausting.  But don't lose those hours.  Make them count.  You only get so many.  And you never get them back.

Trust builds relationships

We live in a world where there is an incredible lack of trust.  We don't trust anyone to do anything.  We don't trust that others won't sue us, so we have waivers for nearly every activity under the sun.  We don't trust our community, so we have video surveillance.  We don't trust our kids, or even ourselves, so we have have firewalls on our computers.  Yet, trust is THE currency for relationships, and it builds and strengthens relationships like nothing else.  We just rarely see it anymore.

That's why I was shocked on Monday when I went to eat lunch at a local restaurant.  They don't take cards, only cash, and the server/cashier said, "Don't worry if you don't have any cash, you can just pay us next time you come in."  But I had never been before.  And how did she know I was coming back?  What if I was from out of town?  I had cash, so I paid my bill, but it was still staggering.  But you know what?  It made me want to come back.  The burger I was about to order was now going to taste better because she trusted me.  She believed in me.  She thought there was good in me.  Often, we find what we're looking for.

Trust is believing there is something good in others.  Now, people will disappoint us and hurt us, but we don't do each other, society, and our families any good when we don't trust each other.  Instead, when we trust others, we can often bring out the best in them because, deep down, we humans don't really want to let each other down.

If you want deep relationships, you have to trust.  This is what is so profound about our relationship with God.  He trusts us with so much.  He trusts us with our freedom, the earth, our families.  He trusts us with His Church and His message.  He trusts us with His heart.  And when we don't trust Him, our relationship with God suffers.  Trust is THE currency of relationships.  When we withhold trust from God, we are saying that we aren't sure if there is good in Him.  We are unsure of Him.  We are thinking He might let us down.  He won't.  Think about all He has trusted you with.  It's because He loves you and believes in you.  That ought to inspire us to trust Him.

I certainly wanted to trust Casey's in downtown Winder with my business again because they trusted me.  BTW, the Bacon Pimento Cheese Burger with Sweet Potato Fries is spot on.

Offline Life

So, a couple of weeks ago, I cracked my screen on my iPhone -- for the second time in about two months.  There is much to this story.  I loathe cases on my phones.  I like it to be as slim and slick as possible to fit in my pocket.  That works well when it stays in your pocket.  Not so much when it doesn't.  Concrete and pavement do not get along with uncased iPhones.  This is fact.  So, this time, I cracked it good on a Friday afternoon.  The earliest I could get an appointment at an Apple Store was the next Tuesday night, so I went four days without a phone.  I learned two important lessons.

1. There is nothing 'out there' more important than 'right here.'  Our constant connectivity to the outside world has made us think that there is something more important going on 'out there.'  Will we miss something in our Facebook and Twitter feeds?  Is there something new going on at the websites I like?  Did I miss a blog post?  Oh no, I don't have a camera so I can share what is happening right here out there?  Not being constantly connected kind of forced me to focus on the here and what I was doing at that moment, whether it be hanging out with my kids and wife or focusing on something that deserved 100% of my attention.  Connection to the world is a gift, but there's nothing going on 'out there' that's more important than your 'right here.'
2. Listen to the people that love you.  My wife, children and mother all told me repeatedly to get a case.  I was stubborn.  It wasn't what I wanted, but it wasn't an unreasonable thing they were suggesting.  They were just trying to protect me.  There are a very few times in life when you may see a bigger picture than others in your life can't yet see, but MOST of the time, if the people that love you are telling you something, listen.  A phone is a silly thing, but this isn't silly for most folks.  When your child ask you to stop smoking, when a parent tells you to get your degree, when a spouse asked you to stop working so late, when a friend says that's enough drinks, when a loved one tells you they're worried about you...listen.  They love you.  Critics are sometimes right and sometimes wrong.  It's about 50/50 because they don't really know you.  People that love you are almost always right.  Listen to them

I got my phone fixed and a shiny new case.  But just so you know, the slam dunk I did in our driveway game of H-O-R-S-E on our 8-foot basketball goal that caused my phone to fall out of my pocket was EPIC!

Leadership & Life Lessons from My First (and Probably Only) Season of Coaching T-Ball

The Fightin' Super Tigers -- Champs!

I was going to help coach.  You know, be an assistant.  I had two boys that would be playing together.  One 4 and one 6, at the time.  But, I had two other sons playing flag football, and it was a busy season at church.  Then I got the call:  "We need one more head coach.  Would you be willing to coach?"  I love my community, so I begrudgingly agreed.  I really, really didn't have time for this.  And I'm a football guy.  I quit baseball after the 8th grade and most of my glory on the diamond happened in church softball leagues.  But I know enough to coach Kindergartners.  And I know a lot about kids.  So I did it.  We had a blast, gave ourselves a cool name (Fightin' Super Tigers), made a lot of new friends and good memories and won the league championship, with a 14-0 record.  I was so proud of our boys, and I learned a good deal about life, parenting, leadership and even a little about church.

• You can't change the past, so why rehash it.  Point to a better future.  T-ballers make mistakes all the time.  They throw it when they should hold it, hold it when they should throw it.  They run the wrong direction and tag the wrong runner.  After a mistake and play has stopped, if you yell at a T-baller, they're just going to cry.  The only thing you can do is point to them to the next opportunity.  "Hey, next time throw it here."  "Next time get your glove down."  "Next time, run to this base."  People are the same.  They don't need our judgment, but they do need people who care about the them to point toward a better future.  The church could learn something from this.  We need to stop yelling at the world for the mistakes it's made and point toward a better future with Jesus.  People need hope, not condemnation. 
• There are often a lot of voices telling us what to do.  Be sure and listen to the right ones.  People are screaming like crazy in the stands when a fielder has the ball in T-ball, telling them what to do with it.  About half of those are right.  Kids have to learn to trust their coach, which says a lot about authority but also listening to the right voices in life.  All of us have voices telling us a lot of things.  Not all of them are telling us to throw it in the right direction.  Who are the influences you're listening to?
• Every organization needs team members to play their role well.  My youngest wasn't crazy about playing right field and batting last, but he was very inexperienced and the smallest guy on the team.  There is only one circle (pitcher position) and only one kid can play it.  You have to have others do their part.  I heard one comment after we won the championship game that our outfield won the game because they got the ball in to the infield after every ball hit to them.  This is an accomplishment in T-ball.  But the 'role players' made the difference in the championship.
• Listen to experts and learn from them.  Like I said, I don't know much about baseball, but last year, we played on a T-Ball team that went 15-0 with one of the best coaches my boys have ever had.  He knew baseball and I came home after the 1st practice and said, "We're going to be pretty good."  I modeled our practices and gameday routine after him.
• Winning is fun and creates organizational momentum.  The bottom line is that winning is fun.  We went 14-0.  People say the kids don't care about winning, but after every game they were shouting "We won, we won, we won!"  They came up with this on their own.  We had fun anyway, and I've been a part of teams that had a lot of fun, kids got better and we didn't win a lot of games.  Winning isn't everything, especially at this age.  But, winning creates organizational momentum.  When staffs, businesses, teams, churches, or organizations don't ever feel like they are winning, it's hard to create momentum.  So, is your organization winning?
• People don't mind working hard if they they believe in the vision.  Our last week of the season, after a 2 1/2 month season, we had games on Monday, Thursday and Saturday in the end of year tournament.  I scheduled a practice on Friday night.  Nearly all the team showed up and I think it made the difference in the championship game.  We didn't play great that Thursday, and we needed to work to play better.  The vision was not to win.  The vision was to make sure we play our best.  That's all we can control.  We needed to practice to be our best.  Parents bought into the vision of excellence.
• Sometimes others have to step up.  We had games where kids were sick, injured our out of town and kids had to switch positions.  They did great.  Families, churches, businesses, and teams all have times others have to unexpectedly step up.  Nearly every game a kid who wasn't one of our biggest hitters got a key hit and got on base we needed to avoid an out.  If your organization has a mantra of "That's not my job," that's dangerous territory.  People have to step up and share responsibilities if an organization is going to be successful.
• People skills matter.  I don't know baseball, but I know how to motivate young people to be the best they can be.  I truly believe that in our culture today, you have to have people skills.  I am concerned about a generation that spends most of its time with a face in front of a screen.  Will they have the capacity to communicate with people in 10, 20, 30 years?  I hope so.  I believe people skills are the most important.  Love people, communicate with people, encourage people.  And people respond.
• There will be days you are not at your best.  Can you still compete on those days?  No one feels like a million bucks every day.  We had days when we didn't play our best, but we had to pick ourselves up and play as hard as we could.  Life has seasons we're not at our best.  Sometimes it's as simple as putting one step in front of the other.  You have to keep going.
• Running from third base to home is a dangerous trek.  As the pitcher to my team, I ran over two kids running home as I exited the field while looking down the first base line.  One of them was my older son on the team.  Both kids lived to tell about it.  
• My youngest led the league in hat and glove throwing while in the outfield.  I mean, he was a champion at glove throwing.  Best I've ever seen.  He had a blast this season.  And I'm pretty sure he would have had just as much fun if we'd have been 0-14.  Because he was coached by his dad and got to play ball.

                                               

                                                                Brooks, my youngest, the team clown.

It was a fun spring.  Sports teach us a lot of lessons.  And I've learned one more.  I think I'm going to retire from coaching and go out on top!

Sunday Preview & Thought for the Week (5.7.15)

I hope you've had a great week.  This series "Why are Christians so..." has challenged me.  It's difficult work for Christ followers to dig deep into what others think of us, especially if it's uncomfortable.  It's so easy to just say, "Well, God knows the truth."  Over and over again in the Bible, we see people like Noah and Job who grew not only in their faith, but in their stature and reputation among others around them.  This week, we're going to continue the hard work of looking within and ask what others are asking:  "Why are Christians so self-righteous?"

Thought for the Week
"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing."  Luke 13:34

That's a quote from Jesus many don't know.  He looks over Jerusalem and sees them with a mother's eyes.  God is often described as our loving Father, and rightfully so.  He is the Father that waits expectantly for the prodigals to come home.  But Jesus takes a different angle.  He sees those that are hurting and scattered through the lens of a mother's love.  This Sunday is Mother's Day and a time all of us reflect back on the love of our mother, whether or not she is still with us.  Of course, we're also reminded of the many other women who mothered us through the years.  A grandmother, step-mom, aunt or even Sunday School teacher.  There is something about the nurturing spirit of motherly love.  Do you know that this is how Christ sees you?  He wants to nurture you and guide you back on the path.  He wants to gather you up and put band-aids on all your old wounds.  He wants to sit around the table and nourish you.  He wants to bring you home, with him, to love you and dote on you.  Let us not be among those that scatter and run away from this Eternal Parent that wants us back in the fold.  Let us not be fearful of a Big Judge in the sky.  That is not the image Jesus intends here.  No, the message is clear.  As a mother hen sees her precious little chicks, so I see you.  You are vulnerable, but you are mine.  Come home where it is safe.  No matter how far you've wandered...you can always come home to Jesus.

In Christ,

Carter McInnis
Lead Pastor

Right here, Daddy!

I am coaching T-ball this year.  My two youngest sons, 4 and 6, are on the team.  My six-year old is a pretty good ball player and can swing the bat pretty good.  My little one, Brooks, is a little fella and one of the youngest on the team.  He swings as hard as he can, which isn't very hard, but he hits it off the tee alright.

I pitch each player three pitches before they get two swings off the tee.  A couple of games ago, I hit Brooks.  He was none too happy.  The next game up, he was obsessed with me pitching it perfect -- right down the middle.  He basically stuck his bat out and said, "Pitch it right here."  It became more of a game of me trying to hit the bat rather than him trying to hit the ball.  I told him that he had to actually swing the bat himself and do some work.  He pointed and said, "Right here."

Isn't that the way we are with God?  Throw it right here, Father, right down broadway.  We don't want to have to swing.  We want God do to things juuuuust right in our lives so that it requires minimal effort on our part.  But we have to swing.  We have to take steps of faith.  We might have to practice.  We might have to swing and miss a few times.  We might even strike out.  God wants to give us opportunities, but we have to swing the bat.

Don't miss out on what God has in store because you're waiting for the perfect pitch.  Swing the bat at the pitch God has given you right now.  It won't be the last pitch.  Faith is swinging when we're not sure if we're going connect.  Faith is swinging after we missed the last time.  Faith is trusting that God will put the right ball in the right spot at the just the right time we need a home run.  You see, God believes in us.  Believes we can hit it.  Believes in who He created us to be.  God doesn't want to do it alone.  God wants to do it with us, in us and through us.  So swing away.  Trust me...God is a much better pitcher than me.

The Culture of Condemnation

A long time ago, Jesus arrived on the scene into a culture of condemnation.  The religious culture was run-a-muck with self-righteous leaders who had the appearance of piety and holiness and handed down judgments of condemnation to those sinners who committed the most heinous and public sins.  Stone the adulterer.  Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.  Cast out the sinners, tax collectors and prostitutes.  Demonize the unclean.  Jesus turned things upside down.  He said that being angry was the equivalent of murder.  He said that adultery starts in the heart, and that lusting after another is just the same as the act.  Wait...what?  Jesus said that there isn't one of us that has it all figured out, even the ones that look like they do.  He went on to say to the religious leaders some pretty harsh words:  "On the outside you seem righteous to people, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness" (Matthew 23:28).

Social media has again ushered us into a Culture of Condemnation.  Our keyboards have simply made it easier to condemn everyone -- athletes, movie stars, politicians, and acquaintances.  Everyone has an opinion, and we now have a forum to share it -- with little consequence.  In fact, we'll probably get a few affirming 'likes' for our tirade.  The situations in the NFL over the last week or so has brought this to light even more.  Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, and Greg Hardy have shed an ugly light on abuse and violence.  Domestic abuse to anyone, especially to a woman or child, is reprehensible.  We can all agree on that.  Moreover, when laws are broken, society needs people to be held accountable.  However, what I have noticed is how these situations have allowed so many of us to get on our high horse and condemn these men.  "We would never do such a thing."  "They are monsters."  "They deserve the worst."  Maybe all those things are true.  I'd never hit a woman or child.  They certainly need to be punished as anyone else would.

But I keep thinking about what Jesus said.  I keep thinking about how I might not have broken laws on the outside, I'm often "full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."  I keep thinking...

• What if my worst moment was caught on camera like Ray Rice?
• What if there was a camera in my soul?
• I'd never hurt or hit someone...but does it count if I've thought about it?
• What about all those times I've been so angry at someone I could scream?
• What about the times I did scream?
• Have I ever crossed the line in disciplining my children?
• Do lies that no one knows about count?
• What about lust?

Don't get me wrong.  We need to discipline law-breakers and educate people on how to be good citizens.  But, Jesus seemed much less concerned about 'just being a good citizen' in the neighborhood.  He said you could look like a good citizen and be dead on the inside.  He said we're all broken.  Jesus challenges us deeper.  This is why I'm so slow to condemn.  I've got so much of my own mess to clean up.  I think we know wrong when we see it.  No one that hears of the pending cases in the NFL could dispute that.  But I know there is stuff that I don't know about everyone that gives me pause to condemn.  And it's what I do know about myself that gives me the most pause.

Create in me clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Sunday Preview & Thought for the Week (8.28.14)

I hope you're having a great week and beating the heat.  I can't believe it's almost September!  This Sunday is Tailgate Sunday, so I hope you'll plan to bring a side dish or two and wear the gear of your favorite team, school, or driver.  We'll have awards for Best Outfit, Best Side Dish, & Best Dessert.  

We're also finishing up the Legacy series as we talk about what kind of legacy to leave for our children and grandchildren.  I believe God has an important word to speak to all of us as we conclude this series.

Thought for the Week
"Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves."  Genesis 11:4

For thousands of years, humans have been trying to make a name for themselves.  Whenever it is about our fame, our fortune, a name for ourselves...it is coming from the wrong spot in our hearts.  The story of the Tower of Babel in Genesis was about age old struggles with which we all deal:  arrogance, pride, and fame.  They wanted to make a name for themselves.  The problem with this mindset is that it isolates from others and God, and we were created for relationship, not isolation.  When we seek our own glory and fame, we naturally create competition with others.  Our success becomes more important than the success of others, the team, the company, the society.  We isolate ourselves that our name might be lifted up, and we hurt others along the way.  Moreover, we isolate ourselves from God.  The more we seek to be our own god, the farther we get from God.  As we seek to make a name for ourselves, we begin to feel like God is pretty lucky to have us on the team.  We miss God's amazing grace then.  When we walk in humility, we are able to embrace God's mercy and love, which we don't deserve, which makes us more humble.  We then work to lift up the name of Jesus, the redeemer of our souls.  And we begin lift up others because we begin to have the heart of God.  Isn't it interesting that what God did by confusing the languages at Babel was, essentially, isolating the people.  That is what arrogance does.  In what ways or in what areas are you seeking a name for yourself rather than making great the name of Almighty God?
 
Something to think about.

In Christ,

Carter 

Sunday Preview & Thought for the Week (8.8.14)

I hope you've had a great week, and all you parents, students and teachers in Gwinnett County are getting back in the groove.  I'm super excited about Sunday as we begin a parenting series called "Legacy."  What does it mean to leave a legacy for those that will come behind us?  

Remember, this Sunday we start our new worship times at 10:30 a.m. and 5:30 p.m.   We'll also have Blue Bell Ice Cream after worship at each experience, so plan to hang around and have some ice cream!  You can still send an Evite to friends right here.  See you Sunday!

Thought for the Week
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."  Romans 12:2

This week I began teaching a off-campus Old Testament class for Archer as part of a time-release elective credit program.  This was our theme verse for the week as I challenged students to begin really opening their minds to God and God's Word.  Here's what we have to understand:  our minds are always being formed.  Have you ever craved something that you keep seeing a commercial for?  That's because the ad has shaped your mind.  We can't help it.  We're always growing, changing, and shifting mentally.  We get to choose whether or not we allow God to continue shaping us.  If we don't, we'll end up conformed the world.  We'll think about life the way the world does.  We'll behave as the world does.  We'll conform.  This passage challenges us to be transformed.  Can I make it simple?  Read the Bible.  When we read the Bible, our minds are transformed because we get a glimpse into the heart of God.  And God's ways are different than the ways of the world.  They're better.  If we implement them, even our very lives will be transformed.

In Christ,

Carter McInnis
Lead Pastor
carter@churchoftheway.net
cartermcinnis.blogspot.com

Sports, Art & Kids

A couple of weeks ago, our church hosted our 2nd Annual KidsGames, a free sports and arts camp for the community.  It was an awesome week, and was reminded at the power of sports and arts in the lives of children.  The cool thing about KidsGames is there are kids out there with no background mixed with kids with a lot experience.  The kids with no experience in organized sports got coaching they'd never gotten, and they were delighted by it.  The kids with a lot of experience were happy to be playing without the pressure to perform or their dad breathing down their necks.  It's fun again.

Art teaches the kids to use their creativity, to be the unique creation that only they can be.  Moreover, they build relationships in art that they never would have in sports.  They find that it's okay to like music and baseball, to like drawing and basketball, to like dancing and softball.  None of us are ONE thing.  We do a disservice to our children when we make them into one thing and nothing else.  Sports and the arts are also incredibly important ways to build relationships with children.  Nothing provides opportunities to mentor quite like sports and art.

Education is extremely important.  We need to educate our kids the very best we can because there truly is power in knowledge, but kids need the influence of sports and arts in their lives.  They need to learn competition.  There is something important about winning and losing.  Life includes winning and losing.  Kids need to experience expressing themselves in art.  God made them unique in His image.  In a world of conformity that says we have to know specific answers on specific tests, art teaches kids that there is an answer within them that has never been given.  Let us not teach the next generation that they are a test score.  Let us help them create things that we never would have dreamed of, and let us teach them to compete, to give it their all.  They'll need those skills in life.  They'll need them MORE in life.  I haven't taken a test in a long time, but life calls me to create and compete daily.

Quiet House

My house is ridiculously quiet this week.  My two oldest boys (8 and 10) are at camp and my two youngest boys (4 and 6) are at their grandparents'.  We are childless for about 4-5 days.  It is weird.  It's hard to describe to people.  According to the 2010 census, only 9% of American families have three or more children under 18 at home.  They don't have a category for 4 or more because there are only 13 of us across the nation :)

Having four children is an absolute blessing to us.  We can't really imagine life any other way.  You hear the McInnis family coming from a mile away, and we leave a restaurant, we leave it well used.  I try to tip well.  That server deserves it.  But it's a crazy life -- and very loud.  With all four of mine being boys, we live with the reality that virtually everything in our home is on the brink of being broken.  It could happen at any minute, really.  If they haven't broken it, it's next on the list.  And they are awesome boys.  They're just, well, boys.

But this week is bizarre.  It's the first stretch we've ever had like this since our youngest was born.  Did I mention it was quiet?  I told my wife that this is what it will be like when Brooks' graduates.  He'll be the last to go, and it'll be quiet every day.  That's only 14 years away.  Fourteen years used to seem like a long time.  It's flying buy now.  I've only got nine years of school left with my oldest.  Nine!  Virtually my entire wardrobe is older than nine years.

I've been reading Numbers recently, one of the first five books of the Bible.  Numbers are important to God.  God tells us to number our days in Psalm 90:12.  I'm starting to count them.  Nine years for Morgan.  Fourteen until they're all gone.  Fourteen.  That's nothing.  I'll only be 52 when they're all gone.  But what I have is these 9 to 14 years ahead to influence them.  When they leave, my influence in their lives will diminish.  They will meet new friends, hear new ideas, and start their own lives.  For now, Emily and I get the chance to pour into their lives, and I want to soak up every second I've got.  Because I can hear the quiet house waiting for me in 14 years.  And it will be too late then.  Parents, how many years do you have left?  It. Will. Fly.  By.  Invest, influence, and teach.  Use every second.

Sunday Preview & Thought for the Week (6.19.14)

I hope you're beating the summer heat and ready for another awesome Sunday at Church of the Way.  I'm really excited about this message coming up this Sunday.  We've only got a couple of more weeks left of our "BASIC" series.  This Sunday, I'll be teaching about how "Christians Love Others" -- especially one another.  So, it will be a Sunday of Love at Church of the Way, and we're going to have some musical fun, too.  I hope to see you there...and bring a friend!

I wanted to tell you to mark your Sunday calendars for this July.  Starting July 6, James and I will be teaching a series called "V15ION" (i.e. Vision '15) as we look at a vision for where God is taking our church in the next 15 months and in 2015 to reach our community for Christ.  We'll be talking about where God is leading us to prepare for a permanent home in the Archer/Grayson/Lawrenceville Community, where God is leading us in a potential 2nd campus in Auburn, and how God is working to use us this next season right were we are.  I'm stoked just thinking about it.  For two years, we've been working to "Go Beyond" our walls to be the church God has called us to be.  Make sure you're there for this final stretch.  Go Beyond:  V15ION.

Thought for the Week
"I will do whatever you think is best."  2 Samuel 18:4

Do you know who said that?  Kind David.  Do you know who he said it to?  The commanders of his armies.  They were preparing to go into battle to 'win back' Jerusalem for him and his kingdom.  He said he wanted to lead the troops in with them.  They urged him to stay behind, and that was his answer.  The guy who was king, who had slain the mighty Goliath, who had conquered nearly the whole known world.  Instead of putting his foot down, he listened to his advisers even though he had veto power over them.  What a leadership lesson!  What a life lesson!  Sometimes, people over whom we have authority are speaking wisdom to us, and we need to be willing to listen.  Parents need to learn to listen to their children.  Employers need to learn to listen to employees.  Civic authorities need to learn to listen to citizens.  Coaches need to learn to listen to players.  Teachers need to learn to listen to students.  The generation in charge needs to learn to listen to the generation coming up.  Leaders need to learn to listen to followers.  Sometimes, even strangers are speaking a word of wisdom to us.  David would have done himself or the cause no good by being stubborn here.  Stubbornness can be a good thing, a needed thing.  But stubbornness can also be our downfall.  David was no good to the cause dead.  He listened.  he went against his own wishes and original idea because he trusted their judgement.  Of course, what is pivotal her is to surround ourselves with people whose judgement we trust.  And then trust them.  If King David can humble himself and listen to others, we can, too.

In Christ,

Carter 

Gregg Popovich and the Spurs on Leadership

You probably don't remember it.  You were shopping for last minute Christmas gifts or going to an office Christmas Party.  Gregg Popovich, iconic coach of the NBA's San Antonio Spurs, had done it again.  A year after being fined $250,000 by the league for resting players, Pop did it again on December 19, 2013.  He sat 38 year-old Tim Duncan and 37 year-old Manu Ginobili down for a Thursday night game at Oakland.  I think he might have even put them on a plane and sent them back to San Antonio.  He received harsh criticism from the league office.  Sports talk radio personalities blasted him for hurting the integrity of the game.  Fans who bought tickets were outraged that they didn't get to see two of the Spurs' starts play.  Do you think that game was the only time the Pop made strategic decisions to take care of his aging stars?  Didn't Duncan and Ginobili look fresh against those young Heat stars (D-Wade notwithstanding)?

Here's the deal.  Gregg Popovich knows what his job is.  He is NOT paid to:

• Make the Commissioner happy.
• Keep competitive balance on track for a December 19 game in Oakland.
• Please fans who bought tickets hoping to see Duncan play.
• Do what sports talk radio personalities think is the proper thing to do.

Pop is paid to win games, namely a championship, within the rules of the league.  If a coach can rest a player because his knees are bothering him, can't he rest a players because his knees are 38 years old?  As the Spurs dismantled the Heat in five games, Pop was giving leaders a valuable lesson:  do what's the in the best interest of the organization.

Pop's December decision did not win him any fans in the league office, but it might have won him a fifth Larry O'Brian Trophy.  Doing what's in the best interest of the organization will not always be understood by others.  I'll be there are people even within the Spurs' organization that didn't like it.  Doing what's best for the organization will bring about criticism, and Pop got plenty.  In 2012, he did the same thing and it cost him financially.  Doing what's in the best interest of the organization might mean financial sacrifices by the leader.  Do you think Pop would trade that trophy for $250,000?  Not a chance.  He did it for the trophy.  He did it because he could see the future, and did what he knew was in the best interest of the organization to achieve the desired future.  When we see someone win and hold the trophy, we sometimes forget the sacrifices, criticism deflected and strategic decisions to get them there.  This will be true in families, church, business and non-profits.  Leadership requires strategic decisions that the leaders knows to be in the best interest of the organization, no matter the criticism.

Why I Needed Snowmageddon

Later today I'll be jogging in shorts and a T-shirt.  It's hard to believe we were sledding a week ago.  As this week life has gotten back to normal for those of us in the Deep South (especially the ATL), I can't help but reflect:  I needed Snowmageddon.

• I played a lot with my boys.  We played in the snow with no regard for time or where we had to be next.  We risked life and limb for a good ride down the hill.  We decided we might have a future in the skeleton at the next Winter Olympics.  There was nowhere I could go and no meetings I had to attend.  
• We stayed up late together every night cheering on Team USA in Sochi.  We learned about new sports together and marveled at the flips, twists, speed and accuracy of the world's best.  We shared something we probably wouldn't have gotten to share in the normal routines of a school week and it's 8 o'clock bedtime.
• We didn't set an alarm for four straight days.  I can't remember the last time that's happened in this house.  We got up when the boys woke us up, which was usually plenty early.  We just lived life as it came.
• I got a lot of work done.  I wrote a huge paper I needed to write for school.  I visioned for our church and planned for future sermons and series.  No meetings and no travel means more time to reflect.
• Our dishwasher ran constantly because we cooked and ate every meal together for four straight days.  There was a lot of laughter at the table and a lot of dirty dishes.  No fast food, no hurried meals.  They became our sacred time to come in from the snow or ice or work.
• We prayed a lot.  At every meal and bedtime we thanked God for a warm, dry house.  We prayed for those that had no home or had lost power.  We prayed for those working to restore power.  We read Bible stories and thanked God for the fun we'd had that day.

Every meal was not a five-star meal.  The house was mostly a mess during the ordeal.  I wore sweatpants every day.  By Friday afternoon, we were ready to get out of the house (and did).  But, Snowmageddon gave my family a Sabbath.  In a hustle and bustle culture, those rarely happen.  They certainly don't happen enough.  This week, baseball season has kicked into high gear.  We have four boys on four different teams in four different levels.  We have at least one practice every night, most of the time two.  We will spend Spring at the ballpark.  Soon, I'll get a new reading list for my classes in May and will be engulfed in reading in the evenings instead of watching Ted Ligety or Body Miller race down a mountain with my boys.  Church life will get crazy again with meetings, strategic planning and special events.  I'll resume ministry-planning lunches and discipleship over coffee instead of chili with my family and hot cocoa after a sledding break.  My wife's alarm has blared this week as she readies the boys off to school once again.  But we had that week.  The snow provided a few days to slow down and do what God had commanded us to do -- slow down.  Stop working.  Rest.  Worship.  What if we all actually did we God told us to do and made Sabbath a normal part of our busy, busy lives.  Just a thought.

Irreplaceable

The casualty

So, this was the damage done.  We recently had a hot dog roasting at church.  It was a chilly day and my seven-year old was wearing his best big coat -- a red and black jacket with logos from his favorite team, the Georgia Bulldogs.  Somewhere in the process of roasting a hot dog, he brushed  up against the metal fire pit.  Thus, the melting began.  It burned this whole in the jacket.  As some of the men gathered around and I found out from my wife about the incident, one of them said, "At least it was just a Georgia jacket."  I said, "What do you mean?" thinking that was a knock on our team.  He responded, "And not a kid."  And that's right.  Jackets can be replaced.  Kids can't.  Jackets can be patched up.  Kids can't.

As parents, it's so easy to fall prey to the materialism of our culture without realizing it.  We ascribe value to things that essentially have no value.  1,000 years ago if you burned a hole in the cloth covering you wore as a coat, that was a good reason to make you another one.  People have value.  Things really don't.  Every parent knows this, but we forget it -- easily.

This Christmas, some child is going to break something that was very expensive.  They're going to drop the iPad or iPhone.  They're going to step on the new train set.  He's going to rip a hole in those new jeans playing touch football at Grandma's.  She's going to get glitter-glue all over that new sweater.  They're going to throw a baseball through the new 3D HDTV.  Some kid is going to lose a toy they just got.  It's going to happen in the next three days somewhere.  It might happen to you.  Our temptation is going to be to get furious.  "Don't you know how much that costs?!"  But it can be replaced.  We live in a culture that decided those things are expensive.  But they're not.  You can go right down to the store and buy another one just like it.

Now, responsibility and accountability are important life lessons.  Kids need to be taught to value things and take care of stuff.  Money does not grow on trees, and being responsible for the things that are ours is an important part of growing up.  However, understanding the things on which you cannot put a price tag is a more important lesson.  Technology is a wonderful thing.  Advances in engineering and media have made our lives better, simpler and faster.  But they are just things.  Things that will break. Things that will be repaired.   Things that will be replaced.  I struggle with this at Christmas, when it seems like a competition between parents as to who can get their kids the most valuable toys.  I struggle with the expectations of my children because at a young age they already have an appetite for things the world says are valuable.  I want them to have nice things.  I want them to go crazy when they open a present.  I want them to be proud of and responsible with their things.  But more than anything else, I want them to know that they are valuable.  People are valuable.  People -- not iPads, not HDTVs, not the latest lego set, not designer clothes, not Kindle Fires, not cars, not houses, not even red & black UGA jackets -- are made in the image of God.  We don't believe Jesus died for things.  Jesus died for people because people matter.

What I hope my kids are thankful for

I have found that being a parent is one of the most challenging jobs on the planet.  You’re never exactly sure if you’re doing it right.  Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, you figure out that you don’t.  Parenting, I’ve learned, has to have an eye on the future.  If you live totally in the present, you’ll drive yourself crazy because children are children (and children are inherently crazy and irrational – right?).  What I try to do is see my children as adults, which is a challenge in the midst of wrestling matches and legos (I have four boys).  One day, though, they’ll sit around on a Thanksgiving holiday and think about the things for which they are thankful.  I hope their minds drift back to childhood and they see life a little differently as adults.  Now, they are thankful for going to school, playing with friends, or eating a yummy dinner, at least those are the things that constantly fill their night-time prayers.  But, here are the things I hope they’re thankful for when they get a little older:

• That we didn’t always get them what they wanted – because life won’t always give them what they want.
• That we made them eat their vegetables – because their health and nutrition were more important than their tastes.
• That we drove our cars for a long time – because saving for their college was more important than driving in a new ride.
• That their parents sometimes made-out in the kitchen – because that means they were still making out with each other and not someone else.
• That we had rules and we stuck to them – because it taught them how to be a good student, employee and citizen.
• That we read the Bible to them – because they learned there was a higher authority than their parents.
• That we played board games and watched animated movies with them – because we wanted to spend time with them more than do something ‘productive’ around the house.
• That we made them go to bed early – because mom and dad needed a few hours of sanity in the evenings, and it helped us be ready for another crazy morning.
• That the house wasn't always spotless -- because that would have meant less board games and fewer backyard football games.
• That we were honest with them about who they dated -- because their feelings as a teenager weren't as important to us as their heart and future as an adult.
• That we prayed for them – because we understood that they will be on their own one day.
• That we followed through with consequences – because life has consequences.
• That we’d drop them off with anyone willing to keep them so we could go on a date – because we understood that a strong marriage was a bedrock of our family.
• That we guarded who their friends were – because we understood better than they did how impressionable they were.
• That we guarded who our friends were – because we understood how impressionable they were.
• That we told them “I love you” a lot – because if they believed that, they’d be able to accomplish much more.
• That we hugged and kissed them a lot (even when they got older and it was embarrassing) – because touch matters.

Much of parenting is seeing into the future.  I’m hopeful my boys will be able to appreciate the things we did on their behalf when they are old enough to understand it all.  That may mean that they don’t particularly appreciate those things now.  I’m okay with that.  I’m thankful that I get to be their dad and take them on that journey with my sweet wife.