The WHY

Still decompressing all the incredible teaching from Catalyst. One of the speakers was Dave Ramsey, who is always fun to listen to. Dave gave a great talk on what matters in life, family, work, faith, and, namely, leadership. He talked about what really matters:

1. People matter.


2. An incredible team and a culture of excellence matters.


3. Slow & steady matters.


4. Financial principles matter.


5. A higher calling matters.

That last one struck an important chord as an important insight came out of that: "When you care about WHY you're doing what you do, then you'll overcome the obstacles you'll face." If the WHY is because of the money or popularity or 'just because' or 'that's the way your parents did it' or the power or whatever...it won't work.

Not everyone has a job that is a calling. But, if the WHY behind the job is that it allows you to make money to do things in your church and community, then you'll be motivated. If the WHY isn't strong enough, real enough, and deep enough, you'll quit at the first sign of a steep hill. WHY are you doing what you do with your kids? WHY are you going to work every day? WHY are you volunteering in the way you are? WHY are you searching for the job you're searching for? WHY? WHY? WHY? If the answer to that question is: "Because God is leading me or has led me this way" then you'll be alright. If the answer is anything else, then find out where God IS leading you, and do it quick.

The Eulogy

Our Conference of our denomination lost an active pastor in the last week. Today was the funeral, and she was on my mind. I thought about her church and how they'd get through this difficult transition. I thought about her family. I thought about her legacy.

It is difficult for all of us in the busy-ness of life, the bills that need to be paid and the errands that need to be run to remember that one day someone will give a eulogy at our funeral. But, if we could remember that, it would change the way we do all the other stuff. No one will talk about how much money we had, how successful we were at business, or how clean we kept the house. They will talk about the type of person you were, how you loved people, how you made others feel.

And they will talk about your relationship with God. If it was rocky, it will be a tough funeral. People will squirm and the pastor will try to come up with creative and nice ways to say that God wasn't really a part of your life. And everyone will leave feeling kind of awkward, with little assurance of where you are. Or, they will talk about how you shined with the light of Jesus. How Christ was the most important thing in your life. And everyone will smile, and they'll imagine how happy you are now living with your Creator. And your family will be so thankful that you had a strong faith. Or it will be something in between.

But...it will be something. We will all have a eulogy spoken over us. What will they say at yours?

Hope for the Hopeless

We had a tragedy at a local church this week. An elderly man committed murder/suicide by killing his sister (in her mid-eighties) and himself in their church arking lot early Sunday morning. He looked like he could have been my grandfather. Just a normal looking guy in our small little corner of the world. Reports describe him as a faithful church member and good man. It was tragic. It doesn't make sense.

It was striking to me because I thought about the people that are part of my church. And it should make you think about the people sitting next to you in yours. Or, even at your office. Oh, no, I don't mean to be afraid. I mean to be loving. There are hurting people in our church pews or auditoriums. There are hurting people in the cubicle next to us. There are people that seem normal that we see at the ball game each week that are aching inside. There are people in line at the grocery store that need a comforting word. There are people we come across in the Post Office that need hope.

The church is not immune to hopelessness and despair. Let us be a people that has our eyes open to the hurting souls of the world. How can you spread cheer today? How can you offer hope? How can you let someone know that they are noticed? Who can you tell that you love them today? There might be someone that needs it, but they might not look like it. Love people. We all need it.

When it hits you in the face

One of the people I was flabbergasted to listen to at Catalyst was Katie Davis. You can learn about her organization at www.amazima.org. She is now 23 years old and the adoptive mother of 14 Ugandan girls. You read that right. 14...FOURTEEN. Yes, she is 23. She adopted her first 3 girls when she was 20. She lives in Uganda and runs an organization that helps over 400 orphans. She beams with the light of Christ.

Do you have listen to someone talk or meet someone and think to yourself, "Man, I think I love Jesus, but do I love Him as much as them?" Katie makes you feel that way. But she inspires you. In her book, Kisses from Katie, she has a quote:

"Some call it courage, others call it foolish. I call it
faith. I choose to get out of the boat."

That's it. That is what faith is all about. Getting out of the boat. That's what this relationship with Jesus is all about. For Katie, that was moving to Uganda and adopting 14 girls. For you, it may mean being a foster parent or adopting one child. It may mean volunteering at your church or school. It may mean starting to tithe, as in, actually giving 10% of your income to God's Church. It may mean taking the first step to mend a fractured relationship. It may mean going back to school. And when you step out of the boat in faith, doing what God is calling you to do, there will be some people who will call it foolish. They are the voices of the world. Some of them might even be family and friends. They are not the voices of God. They are voices that the enemy is using to try and deceive you. There will be some who will slap you on the back and call you a hero. Don't listen to them either...because this isn't about you. Listen to the still, small voice in your heart. The voice of God. The Holy Spirit. He says step out in faith. He says get out of the boat, just like the Apostle Peter stepped out to walk on the water toward Jesus. He says to believe. Do it for that reason and that reason alone. Then you'll find your purpose. Katie has found her spot in the world. What's yours?

One Chance

Still trying to detox from Catalyst a few weeks ago and want to share some of the nuggets from each speaker. Joel Houston from Hillsong shared a powerful quote:

"Remembering that you're going to die is the best way to avoid the trap that you've got something to lose."

You know who said that? The late Steve Jobs. We've all got a limited amount of time on earth for our impact to be shared and felt. We worry about risk and worry about what we might lose if we go out on a limb. But we only get one chance.

I thrive on risk and taking chances, because I want to see God move in mighty ways. How sad it is when the Church forgets how to takes chances, or worse, knows what it looks like but just refuses to do it. Risk for risk's sake is dumb. And, the purpose of life is not to take risk. The power of the statement from Jobs is that we have to understand that we should use every ounce of life we've got to accomplish our personal mission. For those of us that call ourselves children of the Most High God, that means living out His mission.

I recently heard someone say that if you can think about your eulogy and what you want said at it, it would sure help you understand how to live your life. That's essentially the message hear. That eulogy is coming 10, 30, 40, 50 or 70 years from now. Will you have spent every ounce of life you had during your time on earth? I hope so. And I hope there's some risk in there, too.

Personal Responsibility

I'm reading over all these 'follow up' rules in Exodus after God gives His people the 10 commandments. Boy, they are demanding. I don't really understand them all, but I don't have to. I trust God. I understand that things were different then.

But something really sticks out at me. Like this one:

"If a man's bull injures the bull of another an it dies, they are to
sell the live one and divide both the money and the dead animal equally.
However, it it was knon that the bull had the habit of goring, yet the owner did
not keep it penned up, the owner must pay, animal for animal, and the dead
animal will be his." Exodus 21:35-36

You don't get to shun responsibility. We live in a world where no one wants to be responsible. But we are. We will stand before God as responsible. Parents are responsible for their children. Coaches are responsible for their teams. Leaders are responsible for their organizations. Presidents and CEOs are responsible for their companies. Pastors are responsible for their churches. Pet owners are responsible for their pets. WE. ARE. RESPONSIBLE. You can't get rid of it. So embrace it. Shoulder that responsibility and cross your t's and dot your i's. Be on top of things. This honors God. Irresponsibility brings dishonor to God, particularly if we call ourselves Christians. Irresponsibility is annoying. Responsibility sends a signal of maturity and understanding that the world desperately needs. If the buck stops with you, whether that be for your family, team, or organization...stop the buck. I think it's one of those lessons from God that we've forgotten.

Good Enough?

"Good is the enemy of great." That was how Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, opened his talk. It's funny because a friend of mine was talking about the same quote this morning. It seems a little off, doesn't it. Surely bad is the enemy of great. Maybe 'worst' is the enemy of great, right?

I think Collins is right. Good is the enemy of great. Good convinces us that we're okay. Good tells us to stop trying. Good lies to us that we don't need to strive for something better. Good lies to us and stops us from reaching our fullest potential. We settle for good. Is all you want is for your family to be good? For you business to be good? For your faith to be good? For your impact on the world to be a good one?

You are better than than. You were created for more than than. God created the entire universe, the stars, moon, planets and galaxies. He created every living tree and plant, every animal and every element, and He said that they were good. He created humans...and He said that they were "very good" in Genesis 1:31. Very Good. Not good. Very good. The Hebrew word is "mehode." It means exceedingly, greatly, abundantly, might, force, much. You were created to be exceedingly good, abundantly good, mightily good, forcefully good...greatly good. Don't settle for good in any area of your life. Strive for greatness. Be a great mom. Be a great employee. Be a great parent. Be a great restaurant patron. Be a great driver. Be a great disciple of Jesus.

Richard Bell, veteran college football coach, had a saying:

"Good, better, best.
Never let it rest.
'Til your good is your better,
And your better's your best."

Never. Let. It. Rest.

The Burden Only Leaders Know

I'm still kind of detoxing from Catalyst last week. If you don't know what Catalyst is, it's an awesome Church Leadership conference, and I'm lucky enough to have it in my own back yard. I take a billion notes during the conference, and as kind of my own personal way to go back over some of those notes, I thought I'd take some time over the next week or so share some thoughts with you.

In one of his talks, Andy Stanley talked about a stark reality for leaders: The more successful you are, the less accessible you become. It is a hard reality for some people to take. The problem is that people want to be in a vibrant, thriving, growing church, bank, restaurant, school or business. But, the more it grows, the more the primary leader is going to have to draw back. Simply put, leaders HAVE to figure out a way to balance between these two truths:

• You can't shut it all out


• You can't take it all in

You've got to live somewhere in between. Every leader has to GET this. Every parent, every business owner, every coach and teacher, every boss, every ministry leader. You can't do it all, but you have to do some of it. The problem is picking what to do. How do you do it fair?

Stanley says that fairness ended in the Garden of Eden, and I'm inclined to agree. It won't always be fair. This is especially hard to swallow for Christians. We would all like to believe that our pastor can lead a dynamic ministry, plan out-of-this-world sermons and worship experiences and be available to all his/her members at the drop of a hat. And it simply can't happen. I tell my folks in our membership class that if I come see them in the hospital that they have either just had a baby, or it's really bad. Of course, if they're not pregnant, they really don't want me to be there, then! The truth is that it's not really true, but it's a signal I send to all our members to know that I simply can't be there all the time for everyone, and the models and systems I put in place now have to be ready to take on growth.

The nuance for leaders is to understand what situations need massaging. One student may need some extra attention to get the lesson learned. One player might need 30 minutes after practice a couple times a week to excel. One parishioner might need coffee everyone once in a while to discuss some things. One child might need a hug more often than another. It's the leaders job to pick those situations wisely because they can be crucial for the entire organization, and they keep leaders connected to the 'ground floor' of the organization, no matter how big they get.

Do for one

Awesome day at catalyst. A lot to take away...

-Do for one what you wish you could do fir everyone.

-Choose the disciplined pursuit of greatness.

-Jesus is enough

-Be present

I'm grateful Jesus is present with me and it's always a privilege to be present with 13,000 leaders.

Reckless

They give you tickets for reckless driving, you know. Maybe they should give tickets for reckless driving. I was talking about this Proverb with my Men's Breakfast Group this morning:

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings
healing." Proverbs 12:18

What a passage. We have all spoken recklessly. Maybe our temper got shortened, maybe our buttons got pushed or we got really annoyed. We've all had that happen. The thing about words is that you can never put them back in. You can't take them back. Reckless words represent a dark part of our heart, and when we speak them, the person to whom we say them knows that dark part is there, and it is very difficult for them to look at us the same way again.

The tongue has so much power. Power to pierce -- power to heal. How are the people around you experiencing your words? Are they damaging? Are they nagging? Do they sound like fingernails on a chalkboard? Or...Are your words soothing? Are they healing? Do they bring comfort? I have found that we most often use reckless words with the people we say we love most. It makes no sense, but it's what we do. We take out bad days on those we love. When we do that, we are chipping away at that relationship. The right words do the opposite. They build that relationship. I think words can be reckless in two main ways:

• What we say. The words we use matter. Some words simply shouldn't be spoken. They are ugly and hurtful. No matter what you mean, there are some words or phrases that simply shouldn't come out of our mouths. They are reckless. They're different for different relationships, but we probably know when we've said something that is out of bounds.


• How we say it. Sometimes, simply the tone in our voice says something completely different than the words we speak. We should be careful about how we say things. Is it dripping with sarcasm? Is there a cynical tone? The truth is many folks want remember what we say, but they'll remember how they felt when we said it.

Let our words be healing and not reckless.

Those Who've Gone Before Us

My grandmother's birthday is today. I think she's 95. Really, there's not too much difference between 93 and 97. Once you get to that point, every year is just an accomplishment that you've added one more year to a really large number. She lives in South Florida a long way away, so I don't get to see her much anymore. But I'm grateful for her.

I love listening to stories of old people. When I talk to her now, I want to hear about the past. I want to hear about her life growing up, I want to hear more about my grandfather (who I barely knew), and I want to know what her parents were like. She is my last living grandparent, and every day that passes I know is a gift. Someday soon, a part of my past, my family history, will be gone.

I've found that my generation does not appreciate the past and the generations before us like we should. Every generation thinks they have it all figured out when their in their 30s and 40s. I think in our 50s and 60s we become less sure if we've figured out. In our 70s, we've lived long enough to know that we were wrong when we thought we had it figured out, and in our 80s and 90s, we realize that we were trying to figure out the wrong things. There is too much wisdom in that WWII generation, and it will someday soon be gone. In my lifetime, there will come a day when there is no longer a person alive who was alive during WWII. The world has changed a great deal since then, mostly for the better. However, there so many lessons in that history. So many lessons in those lovely people.

I'm presently reading Exodus, where the Israelites are trudging through the desert for 40 years. People that started that journey at 40 were 80 by the end of it. When God commanded them to "Honor your father and mother," it meant something. Don't go running off without them. Don't forget them and leave them for dead in the desert. Slow down and treasure them. I move pretty fast in my life, but I know I need to slow down and listen a little to the wisdom of the past, especially those in my family. I'll bet you do, too.