What I hope my kids are thankful for

I have found that being a parent is one of the most challenging jobs on the planet.  You’re never exactly sure if you’re doing it right.  Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, you figure out that you don’t.  Parenting, I’ve learned, has to have an eye on the future.  If you live totally in the present, you’ll drive yourself crazy because children are children (and children are inherently crazy and irrational – right?).  What I try to do is see my children as adults, which is a challenge in the midst of wrestling matches and legos (I have four boys).  One day, though, they’ll sit around on a Thanksgiving holiday and think about the things for which they are thankful.  I hope their minds drift back to childhood and they see life a little differently as adults.  Now, they are thankful for going to school, playing with friends, or eating a yummy dinner, at least those are the things that constantly fill their night-time prayers.  But, here are the things I hope they’re thankful for when they get a little older:

• That we didn’t always get them what they wanted – because life won’t always give them what they want.
• That we made them eat their vegetables – because their health and nutrition were more important than their tastes.
• That we drove our cars for a long time – because saving for their college was more important than driving in a new ride.
• That their parents sometimes made-out in the kitchen – because that means they were still making out with each other and not someone else.
• That we had rules and we stuck to them – because it taught them how to be a good student, employee and citizen.
• That we read the Bible to them – because they learned there was a higher authority than their parents.
• That we played board games and watched animated movies with them – because we wanted to spend time with them more than do something ‘productive’ around the house.
• That we made them go to bed early – because mom and dad needed a few hours of sanity in the evenings, and it helped us be ready for another crazy morning.
• That the house wasn't always spotless -- because that would have meant less board games and fewer backyard football games.
• That we were honest with them about who they dated -- because their feelings as a teenager weren't as important to us as their heart and future as an adult.
• That we prayed for them – because we understood that they will be on their own one day.
• That we followed through with consequences – because life has consequences.
• That we’d drop them off with anyone willing to keep them so we could go on a date – because we understood that a strong marriage was a bedrock of our family.
• That we guarded who their friends were – because we understood better than they did how impressionable they were.
• That we guarded who our friends were – because we understood how impressionable they were.
• That we told them “I love you” a lot – because if they believed that, they’d be able to accomplish much more.
• That we hugged and kissed them a lot (even when they got older and it was embarrassing) – because touch matters.

Much of parenting is seeing into the future.  I’m hopeful my boys will be able to appreciate the things we did on their behalf when they are old enough to understand it all.  That may mean that they don’t particularly appreciate those things now.  I’m okay with that.  I’m thankful that I get to be their dad and take them on that journey with my sweet wife.  

Who is my neighbor?

Volunteers organizing food for local families.

Volunteers frying 70 turkeys to give away to local families.

Christians have been asking ourselves "Who is our neighbor?" for centuries.  It was a question posed to Jesus.  He followed the question with the story of the Good Samaritan.  Often, churches have used this question as motivation to reach the world.  Everyone is our neighbor, no matter where they are.  This is true.  And the Church has done a world of good across the world fighting hunger, starting orphanages, curing disease, and reaching people with God's love in tangible ways.  The Church has also spread the Gospel to places that have never heard of God's amazing grace.

I've often struggled with how to put the global and local together in ministry.  This past Sunday, our church hosted our 7th Annual Turkey Fry.  In 2007, we moved into a warehouse across the street from one of the poorest streets in our county.  It is a street that has been heavy on crime, drugs, and prostitution.  We decided to love on the community.  We did a number of things to love our literal neighbors, the biggest of which was fry turkeys around Thanksgiving and give them away.  We actually went into the neighborhood, camped out in one of the front yards of a duplex, fried turkeys right there and handed them out door to door.  Over the years, the outreach has morphed and grown.  We now fry them at Archer High School, where we meet.  We still provide a fried turkey to those 50 families in our old neighborhood.  The last couple of years we've also given nearly a week's worth of food along with the turkey to about 20 families whose names the Archer cluster schools have given us.  Most of the families are those that have foster kids.  Some are just families that could use a helping hand this time of year.

I'm not against foreign mission trips.  Please don't hear me say that.  My wife went on a dental mission trip this past summer to Costa Rica.  It was needed ministry and opened doors for the church down there with which her group was working.  Nevertheless, I just think that the question of our neighbor isn't that hard to figure out, and it seems like it's something the Church has often gotten wrong.  We Christians have $5 barbecue plates fund-raisers to help fund our mission trip to a foreign country.  Shouldn't we just be paying for the barbecue ourselves and giving it away to the folks in our own community?  Isn't the work of the Church in our local communities the actual mission?

For me, this has always been my heart.  I think it's a both/and.  I hope our church can send people to other countries one day to be in mission and ministry.  Even now, we work to financially support missionaries sharing God's love in foreign lands.  But there is so much to be done here.  There are so many people to love in the Archer community.  There is so much work to be done up and down New Hope Road.  Then, there are so many people to serve and minister to in neighboring communities in Dacula, Grayson, Snellville, Loganville, Bethlehem, and the rest of Lawrenceville.  And I'm not sure we'll ever be done loving our neighbors right in our own backyard.  This week 70 families know that God loves them, but there are 70,000 more that need to hear that same message.  I am not sure that each church has the potential to change the world.  However, I am certain that each Follower of Christ can change his or her neighborhood, and each church in the world can change its community.  We can all love the people we are around every day with the love of Christ.  And if we would all do that, together, we'd change the world for Jesus.  Dear Lord, let it be for your Church.

The Beautiful Game

You think you know.  I think I know.  Often, we don't.  Football has been a part of my life since I can remember.  My brother was nine years ahead of me when I was in school, so I tagged along to all his games.  In third grade, he was a senior and the starting quarterback.  I had the coolest brother of any of my friends in elementary school.  I cried his last game because I knew I'd never watch him play again.  That was about when my playing days took off.  I played from 3rd-12th grades.  Won a few games, scored some touchdowns, got a couple of accolades, and lost a bunch of games.  My high school was not a powerhouse, but we made the playoffs a few times.  I fumbled late in my last game.  Don't know if it cost us the game, but it didn't help.  The last time I took off my uniform was surreal.  I knew it was over, but it was a heckuva ride.

I spent my time in college immersed in the game.  I was a student manager for UGA for five seasons and stood on the sidelines for some classics.  I got to know the players, and saw some amazing athletes on the other sidelines as well.  I stood next to Peyton Manning, Danny Wuerffel, Keith Brooking, Joe Hamilton, Jamal Lewis, Kevin Faulk, Tim Couch, John Abraham, Stephen Davis, and Takeo Spikes.  In bowl games I stood on the same field as Drew Brees, Ron Dayne, and Ronde & Tiki Barber.

This Saturday, I'll attend my 99th straight Georgia game.  Since the middle of the 2006 season, I've been to every one of them.  That's hard for me to believe.  I've seen some good ones, and I've seen some heart-breakers.  I'm addicted to the atmosphere.  The crowd, the colors, the pageantry.  After I hit 100, my streak won't make it through next season.  Life has come to a point where every weekend isn't quite possible for now, but I'll still be at a bunch of them.

But, this past season reminded me why I love the game.  I started serving as the Character Coach for the Archer Tigers.  That means I led some weekly devotions for players that wanted to participate, and I spent time at practice encouraging kids, building them up and helping any way I can.  I was kind of the team psychologist when a player needed a boost.  It was an awesome ride.  That team finished the regular season 10-0 and won the region for the first time.  We went to the second round of the playoffs and lost in the greatest high school game I've ever been to against North Gwinnett, the #1 team in the state, on a last second field goal 34-32.  I was so honored to be a part of it.  Just a great group of kids that bonded, played their hearts out every week and did their job.  It was a team filled with guys who had a role to play and played it well.  I fell in love with the Archer Tigers.

In the locker room after our last game, the tears flowed.  Coaches teared up, players wept, and men hugged.  It's a beautiful game.  Sometimes you think you know what kids in the locker room are thinking, or we're criticizing coaches or think the players don't care or yelling at them about a mistake...and we just don't know.  I played other sports, but football is different.  The types of people you need are numerous:  big guys, fast guys, medium guys, and guys that can just kick.  You need guys to be on the team to serve as the scout team, and they never see the field on Fridays.  The preparation it takes to get your body ready for a season is grueling.  The amount of organization and practice it takes to get 11 guys playing together is ridiculous.  The physical toll playing the game takes on your body is crazy.  After games, you are bloody, beaten, bruised and broken.  And we criticize.

We criticize coaches when we have no idea how much they love these kids.  We complain about players when we have no idea how much they care or are trying.   And we get in our cars and turn on more complaining on sports talk radio...while they are in the locker room crying.  It isn't much different in college.  I'll never forget walking into the locker room in Sanford Stadium in 1998, after Georgia Tech had beaten us for the first time since 1990.  Michael Greer, whose father, Steve, was an All-American at Georgia, had his head in his hands...weeping.  Uncontrollably weeping.  I remember fans saying that our team just didn't care.  They had bought a ticket, eaten a burger and watched a game.  These kids had lifted weights all summer, practiced hours upon hours, and lost...and wept.

It is a beautiful game because of the lessons.  Life, like football, is a grind.  You have to keep at it.  Sometimes, you give it your absolute all, and you're left weeping, with your head in your hands, and you have to figure out what to do next.  Sometimes you try your best and it isn't good enough.  Sometimes you compete against friends.  This year, Archer played teams with kids that go to my church, and I cheered for them, too.  Football teaches you that life is about people more than teams.  People are eternal.  Teams come and go.  Like football, life sometimes gives you a miracle and you win one you shouldn't have.  Sometimes you make a play and you don't know how you made it.  Often, life is about hours of preparation for critical moments.  And life is about playing the next play, no matter what just happened, good or bad.  And it's about relationships.  Bonds between brothers who battled with you.  Love between coaches and players.  Friendships between coaches.  Competitors that you shake hands with after a game.

I hope you cheer like crazy for your favorite team, but remember that high school and college locker rooms are filled with men and boys who care more than anyone in the stands, even guys that go to 100 straight games.  The locker rooms are the places filled with emotion, hurt, tears, jubilation, and laughter.  And they are the ones that have to get back at it for the next game or the next season.  And after the last game, some of them will take off the grass-stained uniform for the last time, and unless you've ever done that, you don't really know how it feels.  Let us fans be the ones that pat them on the back and say, "Good game, son, good game" no matter the outcome.

Sunday Preview & Thought for the Week (11.21.13)

I hope you've had a great week and you're gearing up for a big Thanksgiving.  This Sunday, we finish out the series "grATTITUDE" by talking about being grateful for God's provisions in our lives.  Also, keep a couple of big happenings this weekend in your prayers:

• Our Turkey Fry is on Sunday.  Pray for the families and safety for the fryers!
• New Frontiers Retreat for One Way.  Pray for God to move and for safe travel.

Thought for the Week
"The Holy One of Israel is our Redeemer."  Isaiah 47:4

Do you use coupons?  Many of us do, and that's especially important when you're buying food and gifts during the holidays.  Have you ever thought about what happens when you "redeem" a coupon?  Like, if you have a buy one get one free meal at a restaurant and you redeem the coupon, what happens?  Well, you don't pay for it.  But somebody pays for it.  The restaurant pays for it.  Sometimes, in grocery stores, a manufacturer pays for it instead of the local store.  Sometimes the chain pays for it.  But someone does.  It's not free.  To redeem a coupon means you're getting something for free that someone else has paid for.  Today, I was reading about how God told Israel after the Exodus from Egypt to 'redeem' the first born son of each family.  They were to offer sacrifices of their first born animals to redeem their sons and remind them of God's deliverance with stories of the first Passover and Exodus, how God brought them out of Egypt.  But someone paid for those boys.  The animals were sacrificed.  Death is the price of sin and to be 'bought back' for God, someone had to pay.  Enter Jesus, the Redeemer.  He gave to us free what was very costly to Him.  The price of our redemption was blood.  That blood made us right with God.  We take for granted getting on our knees before a Holy God. We take for granted a relationship with our Heavenly Father, kind of like a BOGO meal.  Somebody had to pay.  That relationship was not free.  We had to be redeemed.  When we let that sink in, then it all starts to makes sense.  Don't you want everyone on the face of the planet to know they are 'redeemed'?

In Christ,

Carter

Sunday Preview & Thought for the Week (11.14.13)

I hope you've had a great week.  I'm so enjoying this season of "grATTITUDE" at Church of the Way.  This Sunday, we'll continue the series by talking about how we're sometimes ungrateful for people and the implications of that on our lives.  An attitude of gratitude is always what God desires.  Can't wait to see you there!

Thought for the Week
"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."  2 Peter 3:18

I caught wind of something going on at my high school alma mater.  They're having an alumni football game.  Yes, old men in full gear.  And I thought for a minute, "That'd be fun."  I've got plans Saturday, but my wife (and father) reminded me that those days have passed, and I'd probably end up in the emergency room.  I heard a great quote this week, "There comes a time when a little boy needs to sit down, and a man needs to stand up."  That's what Peter was saying.  A walk with Christ is supposed to be a walk in which we improve.  Too often, we come to faith in Christ, but we don't grow.  We fade back into old habits, behaviors and mindsets.  We think it's wise to act the way we used to, and it ends up injuring us.  The little boy, the little girl, the 'babe in Christ' never seems to sit down for us.  You were saved to grow.  God's grace is not done with you in salvation.  Just like the nutrition and exercise needed to help our bodies grow, there are some crucial things that help us grow as Christ Followers:

• Scripture - reading it, studying it with others, hearing it, memorizing it.
• Prayer - we have to communicate if it's going to be a relationships.
• Worship - we need to be with others to worship God and hear God's word proclaimed.
• Serving - something happens to our hearts when we give of ourselves.

That's not it, but those things are pretty important.  Let us be people that grow in the grace.  Let a 'babe in Christ' sit down, and a disciple stand up.

In Christ,

Carter 

Prison Break

Have you heard about Ryan Ferguson?  If you haven't, click on the link.  He's 29 and was just freed from prison after being in there for 10 years for a murder he didn't commit.  That's right, he missed all of his 20s because he was wrongly accused.  First, I am very impressed with him and his attitude.  I can't imagine the range of emotions he's feeling.

When I heard one of his comments, I thought about something our LIFE Group was talking about last night.  Ferguson had made the comment that it was very easy to get wrongly accused and put in prison, but very difficult to get out.  Once you're in, you have very little power.  They both pointed to one source as their saving grace:  their attorney.

You know, the word that Jesus uses to describe the Holy Spirit is a word that comes from the field of law.  Many versions translate it as "Counselor."  Another uses "Advocate."

You and I are much like Ryan Ferguson.  We won't get out of prison without an advocate.  Unlike Ferguson, most of us can recount the steps of how we got there.  Now were are stuck.  Stuck in addiction.  Stuck in debt up to our ears.  Stuck in passionless marriages.  Stuck in lies.  Stuck in a career that we hate but can't afford to leave.  Stuck in a pattern of sin.  Stuck in rages of anger.  Stuck being the parent we promised ourselves we wouldn't be.  Stuck in despair.  We're stuck.  Trapped.  Imprisoned.  You won't get out without a Counselor.  You need an Advocate to fight for you.  That Advocate is ready.  And here's the trick.  Are you ready?  Do what the Advocate says.  Can you imagine if Ryan Ferguson would have gone against his counselor's orders?  Can you imagine if he'd scheduled an interview she didn't want him to have or said something to a fellow inmate she advised him not to?  He'd still be in prison.  When you're in prison, you've got to trust the advocate.  Do what He says.  If you listen, if you study the Bible, if you really open your heart up in church, if you seek the counsel of wise, trusted, Christian friends, and if you pray...you'll start to hear what to do.  Now, hear me out.  It will take a while.  You're not getting out tomorrow.  All you're responsible for is the next step.  Take the next step.  The good news is this.  Jesus, through his grace has freed our souls from the prison of sin and death.  That's Jesus' work.  That's done for us through His death and resurrection.  But we often don't know how to live like free men and women.  We have to learn to walk...to take the next step.  Like Ryan Ferguson, you are in a prison you don't have to be in, but get out you're going to have to listen very closely to your Advocate and do exactly has He says.  So listen for the Spirit.  And do what He says.

Sunday Preview & Thought for the Week (11.8.13)

Happy Friday!

I hope you've had a great week.  The leaves that cover my yard tell the story that fall is in full force.  I'm so excited about starting a brand new series this Sunday focusing on the theme of November:  giving thanks.  I'm not sure we've ever really done a Thanksgiving type series, so I'm pumped.  I hope you'll make plans to be there this Sunday and throughout November as we focus in on "grATTITUDE".  (And, yes, I know it's spelled wrong).  See you there!

Thought for the Week
"In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content...I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:12-13

I was thumbing through Facebook and just noticing the stark contrast of what's going on in the worlds of people who have at some point been a part of my life.  Some are excited about accomplishments of children or announcing a new job they've taken.  Some are asking for prayers for surgery or for a friend.  Some are giddy over a new relationship.  Some really like to take pictures of what they're eating for dinner, and this seems to make them happy.  Some are hurt or angry.  Some have experienced the loss of a loved one or suffered a broken heart.  Some of finding their way through divorce and singleness again.  Some like to complain about politics.  What's clear is it's all out there, and at any moment each of us is prone to extreme happiness and incredible heartbreak depending on outside circumstances.  But the outside world can't shape our attitude and spirit.  The Apostle Paul said that he had learned the secret to being content no matter what happened.  Don't you want to listen to that?  It's a secret that has been unlocked.  It wasn't success, doing what you want, getting your way, more money, or more power.  It was understanding that in all things, all circumstances, our strength comes from Christ in us.  I'm not promising you the road will always be easy or that your 'posts' will always be happy.  There will be mountains and road blocks and bumpy paths.  There will be valleys.  What Paul teaches us is that we can make it through whatever is happening on the outside because of what's on the inside.  I hope you've invited Jesus inside, and I hope you're leaning on him.

In Christ,

Carter 

I promise I'm not a teenage girl

I'm a big country music fan.  I grew up on 80's pop and rock, but turned to country music in the 90's when Garth Brooks bursts onto the scene.  There was a time I wanted to be a country music singer, and I've got the belt buckles to prove it.  So, when the CMA awards were on Wednesday night, I had to watch.

I watch mainly for the music, and I love it when something different is done, like Dave Grohl playing drums with the Zac Brown Band.  However, Grohl and the Foo Fighters are one of my favorites, so I was totally bummed he didn't sing.

But, I found myself kind of in awe of Taylor Swift.  A few years ago, I wanted to not like her.  "She's another teeny-bopper that won't last," I'd say.  Except she's not.   They gave her a new 'Pinnacle' Award, and you could see the respect her older colleagues have for her.  She's written every song on every album she's ever recorded.  She sings about what she cares about.  She carries herself and her industry with class.  She adores her fans and they adore her.  She's 23 and still brings her parents to award shows.  She's honorable.

You could see that in the eyes of those experienced musicians who spoke of her.  They see that what she's done, she's done it with great honor.  She wrote songs that people wanted to hear.  She wasn't just a face that got pushed on the the scene by a record label who was barely a musician.  She did it with honor, and she carries herself with honor.

We live in a culture that has seemingly forgotten honor.  The Bible says that humility brings about honor.  It would be a good thing for each of us to be honorable.  It'd be a good thing for us to carry ourselves with honor.  Honor is admired by every generation.

Alone

I went to see the movie Gravity a couple of weeks ago.  I'd been dying to see it.  It was crazy.  One of the most unique movies I've ever seen.  It's quiet, because space is quiet.  So, that's weird.  There are also very few actors in it, kind of like Castaway.  And, to me, it was terrifying.  I've told people that it's basically the scariest situation you could imagine yourself ever being in -- floating in space.  There's nothing you can do.  You can't move.  There is no game plan.  There is no one to help.  You are utterly and completely helpless.  And alone.

I began to think about how I would react in a situation like that.  I thought, "My only hope would be in knowing that I was NOT alone."  Floating in space is about as stark and empty as you can get, but it's not out of God's reach, for He is the creator of the universe.

A lot of people feel that way in life -- like they are floating around helplessly with no game plan and no hope.  It feels stark and empty in the face of heartache, illness, divorce, depression, or sin.  Some people feel numb because of where life has taken them.  Earth and the rest of the world look like a long ways away.  But you are not alone.  We get really confused about the promises of God.  Some of that has been the fault of the church that has told us to pray this or do that and God will give us what we want or take us where we desire.  I'm not sure God works that way.  I don't see that in the Scriptures.  I see people who were floating along in life and grabbed hold of a lifeline in God.  The promise we have is that God is here.  Jesus came to scream at us that God is here.  The Holy Spirit blew through the Early Church to announce that God is here.  God knocks on our heart in the quiet moments or during a song or in the strangest places to tell us that He is here.

If you can grab hold of that promise, I can't tell you that it'll all be okay right then and there.  I can't tell you that every problem will get fixed.  I can tell you that you'll get there, though.  You'll stop spinning in space.  You'll stop floating in hopelessness.  Just hold on to Him, even when...especially when...He's all there is.