Forgiveness & Paint

I was in Home Depot last week with my 4 year old.  We were picking out some colors of paint for his big brother's room.  It was kind of slow in there, not like a busy Saturday morning.  There was no one else in the paint section but me.  Two employees were talking behind the paint counter.  It was clear one was some kind of manager, and they were having a spirited conversation about sales and comparisons to other stores in the area.  The manager was coaching up the other one on how to increase sales.  Pretty soon, it got a little salty.  One of the said that "S" word.  You guessed it:  $#!t.  My son didn't hear it as he was in his own world, and I ignored it as I went about choosing colors.

As we approached the counter, their conversation continued (instead of focusing on the customer) and I heard it again.  They finally stopped the conversation and asked if they could help me.  I told them, "Guys, I appreciate that you're having an intense conversation here, but do you think you could watch your language in front of my four year old?"  They apologized.  I'm not really a prude.  My boys hear plenty of language at SEC football games.  It's expected there.  I just don't expect it at Home Depot picking out paint.

I ordered my paint, went to pick out a few other things and came back to pick it up after it was mixed.  The manager pulled me aside and apologized again.  He was very genuine.  I told him it was no problem, I understood and I appreciated it.  He said, "Again, I apologize."  I responded, kind of out of the blue, "You're forgiven."  And he was.  I didn't have time to be mad that afternoon or time to discuss it.  I was over it because my schedule dictated it.  There were more important things to do in the day than judge his mistake or worry more about it.  Right there next to the brushes, I forgave him.  He had done a wrong, and he was officially absolved.

And I thought, "Why do we have time for unforgiveness anyway?"  What if time was part of our forgiveness equation?  Holding grudges takes so much effort, energy and time.  It was so easy to say "You're forgiven" and be done with it.  If I saw him again we'd probably laugh about it.  I've got bigger things to worry about than NOT forgiving him.  And, in the grand scheme of things, that's nothing.  It was a little mistake.

Part of the preparation for Easter is taking time to focus on the crucifixion of Jesus, where forgiveness was on full display.  It proves God's love for us.  Do you know God doesn't have time to NOT forgive you.  He's got so many other big things to worry about, and, frankly, he's got gigantic plans for your life so He'd rather forgive you and be done with it.  In fact, when Jesus died on the cross, he went ahead and took care of it.  Also, your mistake is kind of puny in light of his gigantic grace, so I really wouldn't sweat it.  It's over.  It's done.  It is finished.  You're forgiven.  Be on to bigger and better things.  And be thankful for the cross.

Right here, Daddy!

I am coaching T-ball this year.  My two youngest sons, 4 and 6, are on the team.  My six-year old is a pretty good ball player and can swing the bat pretty good.  My little one, Brooks, is a little fella and one of the youngest on the team.  He swings as hard as he can, which isn't very hard, but he hits it off the tee alright.

I pitch each player three pitches before they get two swings off the tee.  A couple of games ago, I hit Brooks.  He was none too happy.  The next game up, he was obsessed with me pitching it perfect -- right down the middle.  He basically stuck his bat out and said, "Pitch it right here."  It became more of a game of me trying to hit the bat rather than him trying to hit the ball.  I told him that he had to actually swing the bat himself and do some work.  He pointed and said, "Right here."

Isn't that the way we are with God?  Throw it right here, Father, right down broadway.  We don't want to have to swing.  We want God do to things juuuuust right in our lives so that it requires minimal effort on our part.  But we have to swing.  We have to take steps of faith.  We might have to practice.  We might have to swing and miss a few times.  We might even strike out.  God wants to give us opportunities, but we have to swing the bat.

Don't miss out on what God has in store because you're waiting for the perfect pitch.  Swing the bat at the pitch God has given you right now.  It won't be the last pitch.  Faith is swinging when we're not sure if we're going connect.  Faith is swinging after we missed the last time.  Faith is trusting that God will put the right ball in the right spot at the just the right time we need a home run.  You see, God believes in us.  Believes we can hit it.  Believes in who He created us to be.  God doesn't want to do it alone.  God wants to do it with us, in us and through us.  So swing away.  Trust me...God is a much better pitcher than me.

Because of me

Lord, the Lord Almighty,

    may those who hope in you

    not be disgraced because of me;

God of Israel,

may those who seek you

    not be put to shame because of me.

-Psalm 69:6

What will others seeking God think of God because of me?  It's a staggering thought.  That little verse in Psalm 69 says a lot.  What do people think of God when...

• I'm angry?
• I'm tired?
• I'm frustrated?
• I'm at my whit's end?
• I'm at the gym?
• I'm hungry?
• I'm at the ballpark?
• I make decisions?
• I speak to them?
• I listen or don't listen?
• I have the opportunity to judge?
• I make a mistake?
• I am around people not like me?
• I'm tempted?

One of the chief reasons that people choose to not attend church or give faith a chance is because those who have called themselves Christians have disgraced God by the way they live.  For those of us that call ourselves Christians, this is a challenging passage.  In what ways are we disgracing God?  Are we putting Him to shame?  

Well, I guarantee you that you'll make mistakes.  It's early, and I'm certain I've already made some today.  It's not about perfection.  It's about growing, becoming perfected by the Perfect One, and letting go of our own way of doing things.  Let us give God a good name today because others see Him in us.

14 years and counting

Today is our wedding anniversary.  On March 10, 2001, Emily and I pledged our lives to one another in her home church in North Carolina.  I whisked her to a honeymoon in the islands during my Spring Break in seminary, then we came home to our new life together in Georgia.  Fourteen years, one church plant (and now one church merger) and four boys later and here we are.

We got married one year and four days after we met.  We were engaged in four months (heck, I bought the ring after about two months).  We joke that we could have gotten married the day after we met.  We just...knew.

Emily and I don't have a perfect marriage.  No one does.  Our house is usually a mess with four boys and lifestyles that are simply too busy.  We eat pizza and fast food a little more than we planned.  We don't have enough of that 'quality' time people talk about because we're seemingly running from one thing to the next.  We don't work out enough.  Our finances haven't always been perfectly in order.  But, can I tell you something:  in fourteen years, we've never had one fight.  In fact, I don't think we've ever even raised our voices at one another.  And I am so grateful for this.  Here's why -- we don't sweat the small stuff.

I don't know if it was conscious or not, but we just kind of decided not to nag and complain and berate each other about stupid little stuff.  I'm sure there are things I do that get on her nerves.  I don't hear about them.  I am so proud of the woman she is, the heart she has, and the commitment to Christ that she displays, what's to complain about?  We talk and communicate.  That's a huge part of it, but I think the biggest part is what we don't say.  Never once has Emily made me feel guilty for having to go to a church meeting.  Instead, she's grateful I have a job and get to fulfill my call to ministry.  I think we've spent the better part of 14 years appreciating each other for what we are and not focusing on what we are not.  I think that's why people fight -- they don't like what they are not.  I didn't marry who Emily wasn't; I married who she was.  And I'm so grateful to still be married to who she has become, an incredible woman, godly wife, fantastic mother, and strong spiritual leader.

There is a proverb that says, "A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense" (Prov. 19:11).  My sweet wife has been patient with me for fourteen years for sure, but I deeply believe one of the most powerful practices in marriage is repeatedly overlooking offenses.  Not fighting does not mean not making mistakes.  In fourteen years, we've both made our fair share of those.  I'm sure I've made more:)  Not fighting means choosing to overlook those mistakes and choosing respect and gentleness.  Because of this, she has made every aspect of my life easier than it was fourteen years ago.  I think that's the way it's supposed to be.  I hope it will be that way with you.  Choose to overlook.  Choose to communicate.  Choose respect and gentleness, and and can be.  And pray for my sweet wife.  God bless her for fourteen years with me.

Together

I've been off the blogosphere for a while, as it's been a little hectic lately.  I'm happy to be back, and wanted to share what we've been up to.

On Sunday, March 1, we had a crazy day.  I got to be a part of something that most pastors never get to be a part of - serving as pastor of a merged congregation on launch Sunday.  In fact, I have been a part of three things most pastors never get to be a part of.  I was blessed with the honor of starting a church 10 years ago, and I have been grateful to see that church launch a 2nd campus in Grayson.  Over the last six months, I have had the privilege to lead that church into a merger with a church that has been around for 166 years for a newly merged permanent campus.  Planting a church and merging churches are both crazy endeavors.

There is so much power in merging congregations.  In many ways, it is much like a marriage.  The first few years of marriage you have to find your way a little.  A church merger includes lots of 'finding your way' in the relationship.  It's incredibly complicated.  Merging finances, getting a new name, and combining leadership are actually the easy part.  The hard part is merging cultures.  Whether it's 10 years or 166 years, churches develop ways of doing things.  Just like a marriage, a merged church has to learn how to do things together.

But merging a church is a beautiful thing if God's Spirit is in it.  I am reminded that I have new friends with which to do ministry.  Many of these new friends are already near and dear to my heart.  I would never have known them had we not walked down this path.  They are beautiful disciples of Jesus.  Like a marriage, a merger is an admission that we need each other to be our best, that life was not better alone.  And it's beautiful when it works.  There is great power and beauty when the Body of Christ unites and says, "We are in this together."

I'll admit it's messy.  There is no easy way.  There are bumps and long hours of prayer.  There are hiccups.  Every marriage has them.  You expect it in marriages.  We should expect it in mergers.  But we keep learning.  We learn to be better spouses.  And we learn to be better brothers and sisters in Christ.

And, like a new marriage, their remains the promise of offspring.  When young parents have children, the realize that through the messiness of the early years and the hiccups and the hard work, there are actual humans that wouldn't be here without them being together.  Their love and commitment to one another allowed a little one to be nurtured.  Young parents have a child or adopt a child and realize they have a bigger purpose.  It wasn't just to be together.  It was for the new life that emerged that they are now raising.

That's a church merger.  It's not just being together.  It's not just that together we can be better, pay the bills sooner or be with one another.  It's that together, we can bring new life into relationships with Jesus that we could not have done apart.  Suddenly, we have a new purpose.  This week, my wife and celebrate 14 years of marriage.  At this point, I can't remember life without her.  There was a time, though, in the early years, that I could.  Time and life and welded us together.  I don't even remember me before her.  I think that's how church mergers are supposed to work.  There will come a time when we can hardly remember life apart.  We'll be raising new kids together, and no one will recall there was a time it wasn't like this.  We'll just embrace the present.

That day will be here before we know it.  But it wouldn't happen without the faithful pioneers at Harmony Grove United Methodist Church and The United Methodist Church of the Way.  Somebody had to go through the dating and courtship, pre-marital counseling and wedding.  Somebody had to go through the early years.  I'm so honored to serve the men and women of God who have done just that.  After one whole week, on a Saturday night before our SECOND Sunday together, I find myself more excited than ever about ministry.  I feel like a newlywed.  If you're around the area, I hope you'll come check out what God is doing at Harmony Grove Church of the Way or Gwinnett Church of the Way.  You can get directions and worship times here.