Hidden Brokenness

Yesterday, I had about the funniest moment I've ever had in a public restroom.  It would not have been funny had I been on the other end.  I was in one of my favorite restaurants, um, taking care of some business.  I notice someone waiting to enter the stall.  When I opened the stall door, a woman was waiting.  The second she saw me, she was mortified.  She had made a terrible mistake.  About that time another gentleman entered the restroom, only adding to her embarrassment.  She shuffled out as quickly as she could and me and the other guy had a good laugh.  I've entered the wrong restroom before, but I don't think I've ever waited in line at one.

She had obviously been oblivious to the sign on the door.  She had been oblivious to the urinal.  She thought she was right.  It was an honest mistake.  It was not meant to be hurtful or harmful.  It was not malicious.  It was just innocent.  She wasn't paying attention, was too busy looking at her phone or maybe had something else in her mind.  For a good minute or two, she had no idea that she had made a mistake.  In fact, she was convinced she was right, until she abruptly found out differently upon my exit from the stall.  But no matter how unintentional or innocent, she was wrong.  No matter if she thought she'd made the right decision, she'd made the wrong decision.

Let me tell you what scares me about my own brokenness:  I could be making wrong decisions that I think are right.  Because my intentions are broken.  My heart is broken.  My will is broken.  My mind is broken.  I am broken.  I could be oblivious to the fact that I'm going through the wrong door simply because I'm not paying attention.  My mind is so cluttered that it's entirely possible I'll be embarrassed at some of the decisions I've made when I find out how terribly wrong I've been.  But this isn't just my problem -- it's you're problem, too.  We are all broken.

We spend a lot of time (and rightfully so) working through our hang-ups, addictions, and nagging sins.  We try to submit to God the parts of our lives that we KNOW to be outside His will.  What concerns me, though, is that we are the woman in the Panera restroom.  We are mindlessly wondering through life not knowing how wrong we are.  We are too busy to stop and think if we're making the right decision.  We have lost focus and are just entering whatever door seems closest.  Sometimes, we even are convinced we're right, but we're just flat wrong.  We saw things incorrectly.  Does it ever occur to us that we could be seeing things incorrectly?

There is hope.  His name is Jesus.  This is why we need a Savior.  This is why we can't fix ourselves.  This is why we can't be left to work this out.  We don't even know how to work this out.  We are broken.  We need grace and forgiveness -- for the mistakes we KNOW we're making and the mistakes we DON'T EVEN KNOW we are making.  This is why I'm so thankful for Christ, because I'm a mess.  I don't even know how big a mess I am.  I just know I need Jesus.  We all do.  And, this is why we are reminded to be alert and mindful in the Scriptures.  I believe as we embrace Jesus more, we can become more aware of all our intentions, attitudes and motivations.  But we won't straighten it all out.  We're broken in ways that are hidden.  Yet, Jesus makes us whole.