It's Complicated

Homosexuality. It’s complicated. That’s why Chick-fil-a raised such a storm. That’s why Facebook and Twitter erupted. That’s why the gay marriage debate provokes the deepest emotions. People feel passionate about the issue. Frankly, people feel very conflicted about the issue…because it’s complicated. But the Church has got to find a way to have a voice – the right voice – about this complex issue. I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve thought and prayed about it a lot, and I thought it was worth sharing for those trying to wade through the complicated waters. I’m sure some will vehemently disagree, and that’s okay. I’d love for you to comment, I’d just ask you to keep it civil, for we’re all creations of the Most High God. It’s long (because it’s complicated), so if you read it all – God bless you 

First, let’s get Freedom of Speech and the Chick-fil-a fiasco out of the way. Freedom of Speech does not mean that there are not consequences for what you say. People can boycott your company, fire you, or end a relationship based on what you say. You have freedom to say what you want. Others have freedom to respond. Freedom of Speech means that you won’t be arrested or charged with a crime for sharing your opinion, as long as it’s not a threat, slander or libel. Secondly, there is a big difference in what you stand for and what you practice. Dan Cathy stated that he and his company are for traditional models of marriage, and that they even give money to some organizations that hold similar views. That doesn’t mean that Chick-fil-a doesn’t hire or serve gay people. That’s an entirely different discussion. I am not for DUIs, shop-lifting, or drug abuse. Our church is not for those behaviors. But, people with DUIs, shop-lifters and drug abusers are welcome in our doors. I’ve even been to visit a few of those folks with those struggles in prison. Dan Cathy has a right to be for whatever he wishes. People also have the right to support or boycott a company because of the owner’s beliefs. We are free to do so. We all have a right to support, boycott or ignore his beliefs and/or company because of that. I’d die for Cathey’s right to say what he said. I’d die for the right that some exercised in eating at Chick-fil-a on Aug. 1. And I’d die for the rights of those that want to boycott CFA and organized gay ‘kiss-ins.’ Thirdly, those government officials that boldly announced that Chick-fil-a would not be given permits because of Dan Cathy’s remarks were treading on dangerous ground. Do you really want government officials granting permits for commerce based on their own personal ideological and/or religious beliefs? I didn’t think so. Wisely, their City Councils and governing bodies have sense issued statements that all companies that fall under certain guidelines (which Chick-fil-a most certainly does) will be issued permits. Okay, that’s enough of the legalities. It’s just frustrated me that people are so passionate about this that they haven’t been able to see these plain facts about freedom and rights.

The passion revealed in the events of Chick-fil-a’s Boycott, Appreciation Day and Kiss-In reveals the complexity of the issue. Full disclosure, I’m an Ordained Elder in the United Methodist Church and Lead Pastor of an evangelical, rock-n-roll church. However, I went to what I would call a liberal college and seminary at the University of Georgia and Candler School of Theology at Emory University. I was forced to face this issue and formulate my own opinions about it. And it’s messy.

Some Christians felt called to attend Chilck-fil-a Appreciation Day – for whatever reason. Thousands showed support of the company and solidarity for traditional family values. Many saw this as a slap in the face to the gay community. Some saw it as an act of defiance against the gay marriage movement and just another example of how the Church is more about causes than about people. Some said it was a shame that many Christians couldn’t gather to support the homeless and poor. Those assertions are a little over the top. Going to Chick-fil-a for CFA Appreciation Day didn’t make you a bad person. Did some people go with hateful intentions? I’d imagine so, and that’s a shame. I’ll bet most Christians that went did so to support a company that stands for the values they stand for. I’ll bet most Christians that went did so because they believe in something bigger than themselves. And I’ll bet a lot of them have gay friends and relatives – and love them. Moreover, where I come from, Christians get together all the time to help the homeless and the poor. No one does more for the homeless and poor in my community than the churches. Ultimately, what we saw was one side of the coin. There are some Christian Americans that oppose gay marriage because they fear what it will mean for our country. They don’t believe that homosexuality is supported in Scripture, and they believe that our country will be better off with some semblance of Biblical values in our law. Most of the people that I know that think this way do not hate gay people. They simply believe this is what’s best for our country. They want us to have laws that reflect a reverence for Biblical values.

There are many other dedicated followers of Christ on the other side who were hurt by what they saw at CFA Appreciation Day. They saw it as a failure of the Church and Christians everywhere. They want to open doors of communication and dialogue with the gay community instead of standing in judgment. They wanted nothing to do with the day. They have stood on the front lines of the battle to reach the gay community with the Gospel, and they saw it sabotage much of that work. They would argue that gay marriage is a civil rights issue. They would tell you that to open the door for the Gospel in the gay community, that the Church must support their basic rights. These Christians are for gay marriage because they see it as being for gay people, and God is for gay people (because God is for all people). That doesn’t mean that they condone the homosexual lifestyle, but they affirm them as humans and fellow Americans. These faithful Christians hold a traditional, Biblical view of homosexuality as outside of God’s will, but they see the social debate about gay marriage and rights as a totally separate issue. You can be for people’s freedom in America and not be for them acting on it. I think you should be free to have an affair and not be arrested for it. I don’t think you should do it. These committed Christians would say that you can’t legislate morality and the government has no business telling you who you can marry.

Do you see how complicated it is? Do you see how committed Christians who read the same Bible and believe it says the same thing can come to different conclusions for how that plays out in government and the real world? That’s not it.

Then, there are other Christians who simply see this as a mistake that the Church has made for centuries. They reject traditional teaching about homosexuality and claim that the Bible was not talking about the kind of homosexual relationships we see today. They affirm the gay lifestyle and fight for freedom for gays not only in civil life but also church life. They want churches and denominations to accept homosexual behavior as normal as heterosexual behavior. They love Jesus, and they want the Church to marry gay people and ordain practicing homosexuals. They believe the Church is behind the times. Simply, they reject the idea that God considers homosexuality is a sin. They would equate this to the civil rights issues of the 60’s, saying that eventually the Church must progress to understand the culture better.

If I’m honest, I struggle finding my place in there. I, personally, cannot get over the Scriptures about homosexuality. To me, it seems clear that Scripture identifies homosexuality as a sin. I cannot ignore 2,000 years of Church history and tradition. I cannot stray from what has been considered orthodox Christianity for a lot longer than I’ve been around. I cannot turn a blind eye to the fact that every mainline denomination that has embraced homosexuality and non-orthodox theology has hemorrhaged members and shrunk rapidly in attendance while the fastest growing churches in America have embraced orthodox theology and evangelical thinking on this issue. I simply don’t believe that’s a coincidence. If you believe otherwise, you and I will have to agree to disagree about the Bible, what it says, and its authority. Perhaps we can have that discussion another time. However, our church is rooted in love. One of our Core Values is “Honor”, because we believe in honoring people as children of God, especially those whom the Church has dishonored in the past. We have always had seasons in which gay people attended our church regularly, and they’ve been welcomed into the community of faith. Though I feel very strongly about this Biblical stance in homosexuality, I’m not sure I want our government telling us who we can marry. I want to be known as a friend to gay people because I want to be known as a friend to all, so shouldn’t I be for gay marriage as a Christian who wants to open doors of love and acceptance to the gay community? On the other hand, I wonder what it will mean for our country if we continue down a path that does not honor God and His Word. Honestly, I’m not exactly sure what’s right. It’s complicated. So complicated that I don’t always know how to feel about it. It is possible for your spiritual and social thoughts on the issue to be completely at odds with each other. I do know that the Bible lifts up freedom. It was God’s first gift to humanity. I think God is pleased when we choose to follow His ways much more than when we are forced to. Of course, I suppose He’s pleased when nations choose to do the same. I’m very comfortable with the statement on human sexuality held by my denomination, the United Methodist Church, which I believe is filled with both grace, honor, and truth:

"We affirm that all persons are individuals of sacred worth, created in the image of God. All persons need the ministry of the Church in their struggles for human fulfillment, as well as the spiritual and emotional care of a fellowship that enables reconciling relationships with God, with others, and with self. The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and consider this practice incompatible with Christian teaching. We affirm that God’s grace is available to all. We will seek to live together in Christian community, welcoming, forgiving, and loving one another, as Christ has loved and accepted us. We implore families and churches not to reject or condemn lesbian and gay members and friends. We commit ourselves to be in ministry for and with all persons."

 
I’m biased, but I think that’s pretty beautiful. This is a sin, but we love you, and everyone is welcome. Now, when it comes to gay marriage…you see the complications arise. The UMC officially supports laws that define marriage as being between a man and a woman. However, we are also officially for basic civil rights, including contractual relationships for the purposes of shared resources, guardian relationships, etc, regardless of sexual orientation. See there. It’s complicated.

Here’s the real issue as to why this is such a difficult issue. Every other sinner walks through the doors of the Church looking for forgiveness from their sins; the homosexual comes through the doors looking for affirmation for their sins. Divorce, substance abuse, lying, stealing, gossiping, hate – it’s all wrong. I’ve never had anyone try to tell me they weren’t. We take the Bible for what it says. We believe there is forgiveness available for all, no matter how far away we sometimes seem. The homosexual person comes not believing that what they are doing is sin. And if it’s not sin, then they don’t need or want forgiveness for it. I believe God’s love is free and available to all. Jesus died for gay and straight people. People are just people to God. His grace and forgiveness are available to all. Anyone that would repent of their sin is welcome to receive that grace. And that’s the issue, for me, that makes homosexuality like no other issue. Repentance. Salvation requires repentance. The Greek word for repentance is ‘metanoia’. It means a shift in thinking, a change of mind. In short, our minds change about our sin. It’s not that you immediately stop all the behaviors that were part of your life before you came to Christ; it’s that you now think differently about them. What if you simply don’t repent of that sin? Now, we’ve all got sin that we don’t even know is sin that we trust his grace to cover. However, it’s another thing to throw in God’s face that you simply don’t believe what He says about it and as Christ offers his grace over that area of your life, the answer is, “No, thank you. No grace needed here.” Can we be saved from all our sins if there are sins we refuse to repent of? Certainly, there are many gay Christians. I’ve known many. I had a friend in college who struggled with it. He believed he was gay, but he also believed God’s Word. He wanted to find another way. He had repented, and still struggled with temptation and sin. Every. Christian. Still. Struggles. It doesn’t matter which sin it is. But, what if your thinking doesn’t change? I don’t get to make those decisions. I’m glad God is in charge, and I’m focusing on doing all I can to align my life with God’s Word. That’s keeps me busy enough.

Yet, I am a spiritual leader, and I live in a tension of trying to figure out ways to reach out to the gay community, or simply, any gay person that attends our church on a given Sunday. How do I love them? I want to. I want them to feel welcomed in my church and my home. When I hear, “Aren’t we supposed to just love everyone?” I sometimes feel that’s code for accept all behaviors. But I can’t. I can accept you as a person, but I can’t accept the choices that I’m convicted our outside God’s purpose for you. I love alcoholics, but I want them to be free from that sin because I think it’s destructive. I love greedy people, but I want them to be free from that because I think it’s destructive. I love gay people, but I want them to be free from that because I think it’s destructive. No other group pushes back. Greedy people justify their greed, but deep down they know it’s wrong. Alcoholics know it’s wrong. Liars know it’s wrong. Homosexuals want me to tell them that it’s not wrong, and I can’t. I love them, but I’m not sure how to show that love in a way that will feel like love to them. Jesus told the sinful woman, “Neither do I condemn you. Now go, and sin no more.” The gay community wants the Church to say, “Neither do we condemn you. Now go, and don’t worry it’s not really sin anyway.” We can’t make that leap, and that leaves a gap between the issue of homosexuality and the Church that I’m not exactly sure how to bridge. I want them to feel loved in the Church. I so desperately want them to know Jesus. But I want them to change, not because I’m worried about where our country is headed -- because I’m worried about where they’re headed. Yet, I want them to choose that for themselves. I’m not sure our government should. I think. But then sometimes I don’t know how the government should respond…because it’s complicated.

Break

I'm taking a break for a few days after 66 out of 67 days. I'll be back soon.

Day 66 - Revelation

Well, we're at the end.  Sixty-six devotions in 67 days.  We've looked at every book of the Bible, and we're finally to Revelation.  Of to course, Revelation is sometimes hard to understand.  There are lots of different theories about what it all means.  However, one of the passages that has always mean to most to me has been Revelation 2:4-5, the words of Jesus to the Church in Ephesus:

"Yet I hold this against you:  You have forsaken your first love.  Remember the height from which you have fallen!  Repent and do the things you did at first."

There is a tendency to get lazy as a Follower of Christ.  Perhaps you remember when you first accepted Christ.  Often, when we first come to faith, we're on fire for Jesus.  We're telling friends about our experience, inviting people to church, reading our Bible, making time for prayer and we're at the church every time the doors are open.  Then, something happens.

I don't know what it is, but it seems like human nature.  We do the same thing in marriage, getting lazy about serving each other.  We do the same thing in careers, getting 'too comforable' and losing our edge after we hold a job for a long time.  Why do we do that?  Shouldn't we get better?  We don't.

Jesus is speaking to this problem.  He words it this way:  you have forsaken your first love.  What if the way we were at first was the starting point and not the high point.  Jesus is telling us to keep that passion, continue to have the fire, and return to the way we once were.  It's natural to have peaks and valleys, but I think if we're going to keep that fire, we have to keep doing the things we did at first:  surrounding ourselves with Godly people, spending time in God's Word, making worship a priority, and setting aside time to pray.

As we approach the end of our 66 days, may you burn with the fire of your beginning in faith.  Don't lose your first love.

Day 65 - Jude

Jude...it's a short little book.  One page in the Bible.  It's got some serious stuff.  Jude deals mostly with troublemakers in the Church.  He says of them:

"They are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires; they boast about themselves and flatter others or their own advantage."  Jude 16

Grumblers.  Faultfinders.  Negative Nancies.  You ever come across them in Church?  A Negative Nancy will destroy any organization, whether it's a church, team, family or business.  No one wants to be around faultfinders and grumblers.  After a while, we get discouraged and we simply don't want to be around that person.  Negative energy comes from negative people, and, like Jude says, those people usually boast about themselves and have a hard time finding any fault in the mirror.  That kind of thinking and attitude will cripple any healthy organization.  Healthy systems need team players and encouragers.  This is especially true in the high-stakes ministry of the Church.

Now, Jude doesn't just rebuke.  He gives some better direction in verses 22-23:

"Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear."

Be merciful.  Reach out and snatched them.  Operate with the fear of God.  This is called compassion.  Treat others with compassion, mercy, and encouragement.  Any organization filled with these kinds of people will succeed, especially in Kingdom work.  So, you choose which kind of influence you are going to be:  grumbling and faultfinding OR merciful and encouraging.  I know which one I want to be.

Day 64 - 3 John

The Apostles were simply audacious.  I'm not sure we could be that audacious or should be.  Heck, what do I know.  Maybe that's what we're missing.  They had a kind of holy confidence that stemmed from radical faith, and it allowed them to operate at a level of Christianity that, frankly, we don't see much of today.  In 3 John, the Apostle John does something we don't ever here of, hardly -- he calls someone out.

9 I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. 10 So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.



11 Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God. 12 Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone —and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true.

 
Demetrius, on the other hand, is respected by all.  This is the kind of lifestyle we should strive for, the kind that gives God and the Church a good name.  Maybe we don't do this enough these days?  John, Peter, nor Paul had a problem judging those in the church and pointing out bad behavior.  The thing I like about this is that it's clearly instructional and it lifts up holiness over corruptness.  John is saying, "You're seeing two different people act two different ways.  This is the one to follow."  He might make Diotrephes mad (I don't think he cares).  But, he might save the faith of some young Christians who are headed down the wrong path.  The bottom line is that our behavior matters because people are watching and, sometimes, following.John's purpose for this is clear.  This is about calling to attention the kind of behavior God wants us to mimic in the church and the kind of behavior God doesn't want to see repeated.  Diotrephes calls himself a Christian, but John makes it clear that, though he has attained an apparent leadership position, his behavior is ungodly, unwelcome, and not to be mirrored.

Day 63 - 2 John

2 John is a short little book -- only 14 verses.  It doesn't even have chapters.  I encourage you to go read the whole thing.  It'll take you 90 seconds.  It mirrors 1 John in that it talks about walking in love and living in the Truth.  It warns against false teachers that aren't quite on the same wavelength with Jesus.  That's about it along with some greetings.  There is a line right at the end that is a throw-away line, right before the salutation.

¹² I have much to write to you, but I do not want to use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to visit you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete. (2 John 12)

John was a smart man.  You know what I thought about as I read that -- social media and email.  I remember a good friend showing me an email received from an employee.  I told him, "He's got to know that's inappropriate over email."  He's just got to.  He didn't.  Many don't.  Facebook, Twitter, and email aren't the place to have serious conversations that require voice inflection and body language.  What John said in the 2 John was important, but I'll bet he saved the biggest stuff for face to face interaction.

When we use electronic means to hash out conflict, we show our immaturity.  Moreover, we put dirty laundry in writing, where it can never be taken back and can be read over and over again.  I'll bet that's what John was dealing with.  The letter, though addressed to a church, is good generic teaching.  He left the personal stuff out.  It needed to be dealt with, it just didn't need to be written down for the whole world to see. 

As long as there are people in the world, there will be conflict.  It's just part of life.  We make it worse when we get into juvenile arguments over email or on the Internet.  This is not the way of maturity.  John made it clear there was a better way.  The next time you have something really, really important to talk about, use social media and email to set-up a face to face meeting -- don't use it to spill your guts.  That usually never works.  We can learn from John.

Day 62 - 1 John

One of my former Youth Pastors used to say that 1 John played hardball.  It's a challenging book to read.  John means business.  It deals with the earliest Christians learning to navigate this new found faith in Jesus.  It deals with the competing worlds of light and darkness, the ways of faith and the ways of the world.  And John says that there has to be a difference for those that call themselves followers of Jesus.

⁵ This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. (1 John 1:5-7)

Then, later in 1 John 2:3-6...

3 We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. 4 The man who says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5 But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: 6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

It's clear, Christians are supposed to be different.  Those who follow Christ are to be set apart from the rest of the world.  Light was a common metaphor in the Scriptures.  The Dead Sea Scrolls were found in the Qumran caves where the Essenes Sect lived and shared life together.  They were a sect of Jews who called themselves the Sons of Light.  I got to go there a few years ago when I visited Israel.  It's a fascinating place.  Some scholars believe Jesus even spent time there as part of that sect before he went into formal ministry at the age of 30, which would explain the "light" imagery we hear from Jesus.  John follows up on Jesus' teaching about light here, though, because he teaches us that WE are the light.  The light doesn't just come from God, we live in it and it shines through us.  Okay, so what does light look like in a Christian.  Easy -- love.

⁹ Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. ¹⁰ Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. ¹¹ But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him. (1 John 2:9-11)

Light looks like loving others.  We live in a world filled with cynicism, hate, and plain rudeness.  Those who follow Christ love people.  All kinds of people.  Mean people and nice people.  Hateful people and happy people.  People that love us back and people that are hard to love.  People we count as friends and total strangers.  Christians love because love looks like light and light points people to it's source.