I love Christmas. Love it. My parents did (and still do) Christmas big. It was magical at my house growing up, and looking back, I got a ridiculous amount of stuff. I love getting Christmas presents for my family. I love when you think of the perfect thing or get a great buy on something you shouldn't be able to afford for them, but somehow found it 70% off. Or you think of something really creative. It's a great feeling to do something heartfelt for someone you love. It's better to see them open it. I love it.
But there is also pressure at Christmas, and I'm not sure where it comes from. You know, it's the feeling of knowing you've gotten most people in the family something really awesome and you bought their presents in, like, July. But you're driving around the whole week before Christmas trying to find those last one or two people something. And you're not satisfied because you got them something made by the Totes company that was in the center aisle display with the wallets, earmuffs, and piggy banks. But it's all you could find. And you couldn't show up with nothing. And you're embarrassed when they open it.
Then there's the feeling like you wish you could do more, but you just can't. You want to spend more on presents for loved ones, but you can't. And you feel guilty. Then, you look under the Christmas tree and want there to be more presents for your children there. You're not sure there are enough under there, but you're not sure what enough is. You know they have more than most children in the world, and you also know they will have friends who have the latest technological gadgets that they don't. So, you find yourself strolling through the store to buy one more thing for them to make sure it's 'enough', even though they have rooms full of toys that they don't play with now.
And it makes you hate Christmas. I hate what it does to me. This year, underneath our tree is a little more bare than usual. I'm going to back to school and that's a huge expense. We're remodeling our kitchen. Don't ever do that. Listen to me: don't ever remodel your kitchen. It is a black hole of expenses. We've got two kids in preschool, and four growing boys, and it's just a little tighter this year.
Don't feel sorry for us. My children have more toys than they could ever play with. They have nice rooms decorated for them. They eat good and go to great schools. We are able to travel as a family together a lot. We tithe to our church and see our money make an impact for the Kingdom. And we have enough money to do things like (slowly) remodel our kitchen. And still, I'm wondering if I should buy them one more thing to make sure it's enough. Or worrying if I need to get one more family member one more thing so that it'll be enough, when they, like us, have more than enough.
This is what Christmas has done to us. I'm a pastor. I want to say that I know what Christmas is all about. It's Jesus' birthday. Of course I know that. We celebrate that in my house and with our church. We know He's the reason for the season. But why do I feel this way every year at the Holidays? Why does the over-commercialization get to me every season, telling me that I should get more and buy more for people who don't need any more? How do I figure out what 'enough' is?
I think the answer is Jesus is enough. He's enough so I don't need more. Having Him is enough. And my children and family won't remember what I got them for Christmas. They won't be able to recall if they had 'enough' each Christmas. (They might remember the year I got them those electric socks -- they seemed like something useful at the time.) If I am Jesus for them, that will be enough. If I serve them, love them, care for them, love them as Jesus does, that'll be enough. If I die to myself for them as Jesus has, that'll be enough. I can't wrap that and put it under a tree. I can afford it because it's totally free, yet it will cost me everything. That's what I want to give others all year. That's how we get out of this crazy mindset we've let takeover Christmas. And that's enough. If we are Jesus for others, the gifts we buy will have little impact on their lives. Being Christ for the world is enough.
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