Mondays are Man-Days 2/25 Edition

So, I did something pretty monumental tonight. I took Morgan, my eldest son, to his first T-Ball practice. It's 3 & 4 year olds, so it's pretty much mass hysteria mixed in with a little bit of crying and a pinch of T-Ball every now and then. It was an awesome experience, though, and it was one of those moments when you sort of know what's coming down the road. This was different than school. School is emotional for moms. This was totally a man thing.

My wife stayed home with our youngest, so I took Mojo (as we call him) by himself. Something interesting happened during practice. When Morgan would do something he was especially pround of, he wouldn't look to his coach, he wouldn't gloat to his teammates -- he looked at me. And he was longing for affirmation. When we got home, he told his mother that he hit the ball and "Daddy said, 'Way to go, Morgan!'" He looked to me for what only I can give him. He cannot get that affirmation anywhere else. It can only be found with his father.

I'm no expert on child-rearing, but I think I've come to understand some things about boys. I have only one brother. My brother has only 2 sons and I have only 2 sons. My family simply does boys -- so far. There is an element to life that my incredible wife cannot impart on my boys. She is not a man and she can instill manhood in them. It's impossible. This isn't some kind of bravado that they're supposed to have. It's what my firstborn was looking for in that look: affirmation. Was that okay, Daddy? Did I do good enough, Daddy? Do I measure up? If I don't have the emotional fortitude to affirm him throughout the years, something will be missing in his life. If I can't communicate with him that he is all he needs to be, then he will forever feel like he's falling short. It doesn't matter if he's an athlete, a piano player, or a scholar...he just needs to know that he's okay with Daddy. The danger of all of this, of course, is much deeper, because "if I'm not okay with this father, I wonder if I'm okay for that other Father." If that thought begins to creep into the brain of young lad, it's simply toxic.

Carter