What I hope my kids are thankful for

I have found that being a parent is one of the most challenging jobs on the planet.  You’re never exactly sure if you’re doing it right.  Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, you figure out that you don’t.  Parenting, I’ve learned, has to have an eye on the future.  If you live totally in the present, you’ll drive yourself crazy because children are children (and children are inherently crazy and irrational – right?).  What I try to do is see my children as adults, which is a challenge in the midst of wrestling matches and legos (I have four boys).  One day, though, they’ll sit around on a Thanksgiving holiday and think about the things for which they are thankful.  I hope their minds drift back to childhood and they see life a little differently as adults.  Now, they are thankful for going to school, playing with friends, or eating a yummy dinner, at least those are the things that constantly fill their night-time prayers.  But, here are the things I hope they’re thankful for when they get a little older:

• That we didn’t always get them what they wanted – because life won’t always give them what they want.
• That we made them eat their vegetables – because their health and nutrition were more important than their tastes.
• That we drove our cars for a long time – because saving for their college was more important than driving in a new ride.
• That their parents sometimes made-out in the kitchen – because that means they were still making out with each other and not someone else.
• That we had rules and we stuck to them – because it taught them how to be a good student, employee and citizen.
• That we read the Bible to them – because they learned there was a higher authority than their parents.
• That we played board games and watched animated movies with them – because we wanted to spend time with them more than do something ‘productive’ around the house.
• That we made them go to bed early – because mom and dad needed a few hours of sanity in the evenings, and it helped us be ready for another crazy morning.
• That the house wasn't always spotless -- because that would have meant less board games and fewer backyard football games.
• That we were honest with them about who they dated -- because their feelings as a teenager weren't as important to us as their heart and future as an adult.
• That we prayed for them – because we understood that they will be on their own one day.
• That we followed through with consequences – because life has consequences.
• That we’d drop them off with anyone willing to keep them so we could go on a date – because we understood that a strong marriage was a bedrock of our family.
• That we guarded who their friends were – because we understood better than they did how impressionable they were.
• That we guarded who our friends were – because we understood how impressionable they were.
• That we told them “I love you” a lot – because if they believed that, they’d be able to accomplish much more.
• That we hugged and kissed them a lot (even when they got older and it was embarrassing) – because touch matters.

Much of parenting is seeing into the future.  I’m hopeful my boys will be able to appreciate the things we did on their behalf when they are old enough to understand it all.  That may mean that they don’t particularly appreciate those things now.  I’m okay with that.  I’m thankful that I get to be their dad and take them on that journey with my sweet wife.