Preacher Doubts & Reaching Out

I wanted to get back to answering some of the questions the good people of Church of the Way and the Blogosphere asked during our "Preacher, I've Got a Question" series.  Here's a couple:

A couple of questions were similar:

• Does a preacher ever feel stronger in their faith some days and not so much other days?
• Preacher, do you ever struggle with doubt?

The answer to those questions is, "Of course."  Contrary to rumors, preachers are human.  Almost every preacher I know is human :)  There are times I wonder if God is going to come through, if I've got what it takes to lead Christ's Church.  There are times I wonder if I'm smart enough to do this and times I worry if my mistakes or shortcomings will through the ministry.  There are days I feel like I'm not cut out for this and moments when I wonder if I should be doing something else.  There are quiet moments when I think maybe someone else could do this better.  There are times I rely on my own strength instead of resting on God's.  There are times when I'm disobedient.  There are times when I wonder where God's Spirit is.  There are days when I feel broken.  I can tell you that I never doubt that God loves me.  I've seen too much evidence to the contrary.  I feel richly blessed by God with all that he's given me, especially family, friends and a church that love and support me.  And I've always believed that the best is yet to come.  I believe God is always moving and working, shaping and molding.  Sometimes I struggle with HOW God is doing it.  I don't always agree with His tactics or time-table, but I know He's up to something good in my life because I believe good is in His nature.  Everybody struggles and doubts from time to time.

• What’s the best way to reach out to someone who doesn’t know about Jesus without preaching to that person?

Love them.  If they won't read the Bible, be the Bible.  If they won't enter into a conversation about Jesus, be Jesus to and with them.  People need to see faith in action.  No one really wants to be preached to.  People need to see integrity and holiness lived out.  Make sure your actions back up your words and your lifestyle matches your message.  Be honest.  Admit what you don't know.  Serve them.  Invite them to church.  Ask questions.  Listen to their story.  Stay in relationship.  Making disciples happens in relationship. When people begin to trust Christians and see authentic Christians involved in their lives, I believe they'll start asking questions about what makes Followers of Jesus so different.  As St. Francis of Assisi said, "Share the gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words."  If we do it right, we'll rarely need words.  

Fatherhood

Yesterday was Father's Day.  It was my ninth year as a father.  I get to practice at it a lot.  I have four boys, so fatherhood is very important to me.  It's my job to pass on to my sons what it means to be a man.  Here's some things I've learned about fatherhood in the midst of trying raise four wild boys:

• You never really feel like you're good at it.  Every parent feels inadequate at times.
• You have to be a kid with them sometimes.  Some of my best memories are the times when I acted a fool with them.
• You have to be the adult most of the time.  Most of my worst moments as a parent are when I didn't act like the adult.  They'll have lots of buddies and friends.  They get one dad.  
• Sometimes I like to say, "I'm a dad, I'm not allowed to have feelings."  Really, get over feelings.  I want my sons to respect me when they're 25.
• They forgive and forget your mistakes way quicker than I do.  They're over it, and we need to learn to get over it when we screw up.
• They're listening...to every word.
• If Walker (my five year-old) says his arm really hurts...it's broken.  Best to not wait a week before going to the doctor.
• Pulling loose teeth should be an Olympic sport.  I think I could compete.  (Twist and pull is the secret).
• Toddlers pooping in the potty is cause for household celebration.
• It'll grow back, eventually. The grass, the skin, the hair, even the Sheetrock.  
• I am going to live the next 15 years in a locker room.  When my youngest graduates and leaves for college, my house will smell nice again.  God bless my sweet wife.
• Good thing peanut butter counts as protein.
• Good thing cheese counts as protein.
• Good thing you don't have to have protein to constitute a meal.
• It may be a while before they're bigger than me, but pretty soon they're going to be able to gang up on me.
• With four boys, pretty soon I'm going to cut my last blade of grass around here for a long, long time.
• Unfortunately, I'm going to need to take out a loan to go to the grocery store pretty soon.  And on that note, I never realized how much money my parents spent on me.
• It sure is nice when the house is quiet at night.  Those moments are rare in these parts.
• Being a father is humbling.  I have to do it every day, and I never do it perfectly.
• Whenever my boys ask me to go throw the football in the backyard, I try to always say, "Yes!"
• Fatherhood has some of the most richest rewards and has taught me so much about how God views us.  
• As good as the early days in marriage were before kids and as sweet as the empty-nest days will be, I know I'm living in some of the best times right now.
• I love being a father, but thank God I don't have to be a mom.  Those women are heroes.

Sticks & Stones

"No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it give grace to those who hear."  Ephesians 4:29

Today I read a phenomenal quote about how we speak about others:  "Protecting the reputation of those who aren't present gains the trust of those who are."  I have a quick tongue.  One of the profound challenges I've faced in my own life has been guarding my words.  Not necessarily foul language.  I've never felt the need to curse.  However, it's so easy to say a word that does not lift others up or rushes to a quick judgment.  It's so easy to speak negatively about those that aren't present before we have all the facts.  This is a growing edge for me, but it is so important.  Christians, for as long as I've been around, are notorious about gossiping.  We even gossip in group prayer settings.  Often, we don't mean to.  We say something negative about someone or make a snap judgment before we know what's really going on in someone's life.  Those words can never be taken back, and they're not helpful. Not only that, but people start to think, "I wonder what they say when I'm not around?"  It breeds mistrust.  

Words are so important.  How we speak and the tones we use reveal something deep within us.  I so want people to experience grace, as the passage says, when they are in conversation with me, even if it's a difficult conversation.  And, when we do mess up and speak a word that is wrong, let us be quick to take ownership and apologize.  So, think about how you're speaking today.  Think about how you speak about those that aren't present.  Let us allow the Holy Spirit to offer grace to others through our words.  I truly believe God wants this for us because life is better that way.

The Truth About Interracial Couples

Apparently there has been some uproar over this new Cheerios commercial:

Isn't she precious?  In response to those stirring up the controversy and upset over the commercial, part of me feels compelled to say, "What planet do you live on?"  Seriously, I don't get it.  I grew up and have lived my whole life in the Deep South, where racial tensions have often been high.  In college, I worked with an SEC football team and came to understand race in a new way.  Simply, I was ignorant.  Not in a bad way.  I had just never been exposed to African-American people on a large scale.  I had acquaintances, but not friends.  I became friends with people who I found to be a lot like me but just had a different color skin.

However, I still wasn't sure about interracial couples.  Mostly, that was because I didn't really know my Bible.  I became friends with an engaged couple in Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  She was a basketball player on the women's team, and he was a team manager.  She was African-American.  He was white.  And they were the most Godly couple I had ever known.  I began to search my Bible.  I found out Moses' wife was from Ethiopia.  How many white folks do you know from Ethiopia?  I read about Solomon's wife with dark skin in Song of Solomon.  Why hadn't I been taught this in Sunday School?

Then, I started dating a girl from Russia.  She was white.  But I began to realize that I had more in common and probably more ancestral commonality with African-Americans in the Deep South than her.  I realized that skin color is so subjective.  

But, the most important thing is what God said in the beginning:  that we are made in God's image.  All of us. Every skin tone represents who God is.  God doesn't see colors.  God sees himself.  I am ashamed and appalled that this would still be a topic of discussion in 2013.  I am blessed to live in a community with rich diversity and blessed to serve a church in which many nations and skin tones are represented.  We are united under the cross of Christ.  We have always sought to make our church a place where all are welcomed.  Any other teaching is not of God, and the Church must continue to stand up to teach truth in the face of ugliness.  We must also be willing to enter into discussions with people, like me as an 18 year-old, who simply don't know any better and need someone to guide them to discipleship.

Sadly, I know that interracial couples are not welcomed in all churches across America.  That's why we've made it a point to make sure Church of the Way is a place where people of all colors, and families of all races and mixes can find a home.  I will always believe that the hatred and vitriol will continue to die as we pass the torch to another generation.  This will be of little issue to my children.  They simply don't see color because we haven't taught it.  Our prayer for them and teaching to them is that the most important  characteristic in their future mate is a deep devotion to Jesus.  THAT is what it means to be equally yoked.  Oh, and they can't marry a Phillies or Mets fan.

The Electoral College, SEC Football, NFL QBs, & Church Demographics

Back during the election, Sports Illustrated had a fascinating article about the change in electoral college votes since 1950 because of population shifts.  What was revealed in those changes was that many of the states in the sunbelt had seen huge population shifts, such as Georgia, Florida, Texas and California.  States such as Ohio, Michigan, and Iowa saw pretty dramatic drop offs.  By region, it almost perfectly mirrored the shift in power we've seen the last 60 years in college football.  In 1942, UGA's Frank Sinkwich was the first player from a Southern school to win the Heisman Trophy, and he came to Athens by way Pennsylvania.  Now, you can rattle off Southern Heisman winners like clockwork from the last five years, and they were raised in the sunbelt.  What does that tell us?  The SEC might not keep winning the national championship every year, but the talent isn't going anywhere.  Southern teams have more talented kids to choose from simply because people keep moving to warm weather climates.  There's no fighting it.  It's simple demographics.

So what do you do with demographics?  You adjust.  The NFL adjusted.  In the last 10-15 years, more high schools are running spread-type offenses, which has led to a shortage in pro-style quarterbacks available to colleges.  Colleges have also implemented changes in offenses, being more innovative to use players' natural talents instead of forcing QBs who are not pure pocket passers into pro-style systems.  There was a time when I was growing up that that San Francisco 49ers actually had Joe Montana and Steve Young on the same team.  Now, not even all 32 teams have decent QBs, and are even having success with much less traditional-style QBs.  The Redskins made the playoffs and have a bright future with Robert Griffin III, but they chose to change their scheme by drafting for talent rather than push a scheme without the talent.

What does that have to do with church?  Last Sunday, I went to two different churches in Washington, DC -- one a traditional church with traditional music, one in a renovated historic building with a modern band and music.  Now, you need to know that the traditional church has been around for a long time, and has a huge facility.  The music there was terrible.  Not the style, the talent and execution.  It was just bad.  I can appreciate God-gifted classical musicians.  This was not good music.  It was sub-par.  The modern church was barely over a year old and had a band that couldn't have had a member over 25 years old...and they were awesome.  They sounded like a CD turned up.  This scene is going to play out over and over because of demographics.  Will the church adjust?

I pastor a modern, rock-n-roll church, but I grew up sing hymns every Sunday in a traditional church with an excellent music ministry.  I appreciate excellence in music to honor God.  It's simply going to be harder and harder for the Church to find excellence in classical music because of demographics.  How many 15-25 year-olds do you know that are called to music ministry are trained and talented in classical music?  How many do you know that are serving in music ministry that play guitar or drums and are feeling called to serve the church?  It's not even close.  The largest and fastest growing churches in America (and the ones pumping out people called to ministry) are modern, contemporary churches.  In 25 years, it's going to get harder and harder to find talented people called to ministry in classical music.  The big churches will be able to find them because they have the most influence and will pay the most money.  Power colleges in talent-rich states like Alabama, Southern Cal, and Georgia still run pro-style offenses because they can get those quarterbacks, but many colleges have adapted and run offenses that match the talent.  So, the question will start becoming for each congregation:  Are we a power church that can get the talented and called musicians? 

My fear is that one of two things will happen.

1. Churches will stick with a form, a system, and style despite the lack of talented and called people to fill those positions.  So, they will end up with called people who love the style, love God, and love the Church but are not talented.  The ministry will suffer and new people, particular unchurched people, we'll be turned off because most of society appreciates excellence.  This is like the football team that continues to run a pro-style offense with a sub-par QB when there are 3-4 kids on the team that could excel running the spread.
2. Churches will stick with a form, a system, and style despite the lack of talented and called people to fill those positions.  So, they will get someone talented (because there will always be people talented in classical music) but who is not called, maybe someone who is not even a believer.  This will hurt the Church, and God will not bless it.  People will wonder what happened, but they won't be able to see the compromise the crippled the ministry, all because of a style.  The scary part is there will probably be a talented and called kid sitting in the pews every week, but he plays the guitar.

Understand that this is not a condemnation of the Church.  I love the Church.  I want what's best for her.  I don't expect this to change tomorrow, but we've got to think about the future.  The demographics are simply changing, which means our expectations and practices have to change if we're going to reach the next generation for Jesus. 

Questions in the Valley

"My God! My God, why have you forsaken me?" Psalm 22:1

Maybe you know those words better as the words Jesus cried on the cross. Jesus was actually repeating a Psalm he'd probably memorized as a kid that was written many years before Jesus came along. It epitomized what Jesus felt -- alone.  It is a gut-wrenching cry from the Psalmist. Maybe you've felt that way before. Maybe you're feeling that way now. I'm certain the people of Moore, Oklahoma felt that way this past Monday. I'll bet they continue to feel that way. There are times that life leaves us feeling like God has abandoned us. The prayer never gets answer, the healing never comes, the house goes into foreclosure, tragedy strikes, the marriage fails, the lost child never comes home, and our world comes crashing down. It feels hopeless and desperate. It feels like we are all alone. Psalm 22 is a cry of desperation. There is room for that with God. You can cry to Him. You can shout in anguish. You can even be angry. God can handle it. God is big enough for our questions. When a tornado rips through an elementary school, all we're left with is questions. Where was God? Why did this happen? I can't imagine the devastation.  There aren't many answers.

What I can tell you is this:  The promises of God offer presence, not protection or prevention. God is with us, even in our questions, heaving in tears amidst our heartache. In fact, God is pursuing us, asking the question that He's been asking us since sin knocked the world into chaos in the Garden of Eden: "Where are you?" God is looking for us, running after us, taking on flesh for us, dying on a cross for us in Jesus, and dwelling in us through His Spirit. If we can hold on to that, we can make it to the other side of the heartache. The Psalmist, amidst his questions and cries, reached that point, and in the next Psalm (the most famous one) he wrote, "Though I walk through valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me." May our brothers and sisters in Oklahoma know that God is with them in the valley of the shadow of death. And may those of you in your own valley know that He is with you and in you.

Not So Personal Faith

First off, let me say that I've got a bunch more "Preacher, I've got a question" questions to get to over the summer.  However, while I'm in D.C., I wanted to share some thoughts that God's putting in my head while I'm here.

Today, I got the honor of listening to the Director of the FBI, Robert Mueller, speak.  He wasn't really speaking to my class, but we got to sit in and listen and ask a few questions.  His wife is a former student at the seminary here at Wesley, and he was speaking with the Board of Governors for the school.  It was mostly about national security and all that stuff.  It was very interesting, and I wondered how he sleeps at night knowing all that he knows.

One of our students in the DMin program here for military chaplains ask about him and his personal faith.  His response was terribly disappointing.  He couldn't be in a more safe environment.  There were no press there besides a photographer for the school.  It was seminary board members, seminary professors and ministers who are doctoral students.  He basically said that faith was personal and that you just don't speak about those issues. 

Who in the world taught him that?  I'm deeply troubled by this answer that I've heard time and time again.  I do believe it was taught a generation ago, but I'm just not sure what Bible those who taught it were reading.  Would the Apostle Paul say faith is 'personal?'  Would Peter say it was 'personal?'  Would Jesus say it was 'personal' and 'private?'  Moreover, would Martin Luther King, Jr. or Mother Teresa say that faith is something you don't talk about?  I wasn't looking for the man to preach a sermon.  I was looking for something at least like, "My wife attend such and such church and my faith has been a source of strength in the most difficult hours of this job." 

Friends, if you want a personal and private faith, then you do not want the faith of the Bible.  You want some kind of bland American-ized faith that is not the faith to which Jesus called His disciples, not the faith which Paul used to start the countless churches and not the faith that has changed the world many times over.  Faith in Jesus is radical.  It comes out in our actions, in the way we treat people, in the way we serve and in the way we talk.  Some of us might have jobs that require us to speak a little more political about issues of faith while on the job (and we desperately need Christians in those sectors!), but we shouldn't ever be ashamed to claim the name.  We should never be afraid to claim who we are in Christ.  The Church will never change the lives of those who desperately need our message of hope and grace if our faith is personal and private.  The World needs a Church whose faith is relational and public.