Swearing

I got to thinking about swearing the other day. Cussing. Cursing. Profanity....whatever you want to call it. I generally don't swear. It's just never really been appealing to me. I've never swore in front of my kids. I've never swore to my wife. College football doesn't even really make me cuss (though it occassionally comes awfully close). I just figure I can usually come up with better words when life throws me a frustrating situation. However, if there is one situation I am prone to swear it's counseling.

I know, I know, it sounds crazy. When I counsel someone as their pastor I'm supposed to be a comforting voice. I'm supposed to be gentle and caring. And I am. I genuinely care about people. When I meet with someone to talk about a problem, I want to help them. That's part of my calling and part of my job. But I'm telling you, that's when I'm most likely to swear. I think the reason is that I so often feel like people come to talk to a pastor so that he will give them a pat on the back and affirm their sinful behavior. I often find that people are not listening to a word I have to say, even if it is the truth. Sometimes, I think I feel like I have to shock them into listening. A four-letter zinger usually does the trick. This has happened time and time again and I think it's just part of my DNA. It usually happens when I feel like I just don't have anything left to say and they're still not hearing me. Am I wrong for that? I don't know. It's certainly meant for the right reasons.

It begs an interesting question for Christians: is it wrong to swear, all the time? Mark Twain wrote, "Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even in prayer." I always thought that was funny, and sometimes true. I mean, Paul cussed in the Bible in Phlippians because he was looking for the key word to make a point about wht Christ had done for him. Of course, Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." But what does that really mean?

Our cuss words are simply a collection of letters that society has deemed as dirty. God didn't make them up. Jesus spoke Aramaic, not English. And can a swear word be used to build up others for for their benefit? I've certainly felt so sitting across from a cup of coffee from someone. And isn't all about the attitude? When I get frustrated and tell my boys to "pick up the dadgum toys", is not the same attitude behind that statement that's behind the other word? This is why it's tricky to be led by the Spirit. For me, I feel God tell me that it's foolish to use profanity and I'm just stupid if I can't think of other words. But I've also felt God nudge my heart to say something a little salty to help get His point across. I think the key is found in the scripture above:

• Is this wholesome?


• Is this building others up?


• Is this for the benefit of others?

If we ask ourselves that question, I think we'll use the right words. Just kind of a thought I've been having lately.

Peace.